


The Lady of No Words, Book One: Harmony

by girlsinbikinis



Series: The Lady of No Words [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aang is not the last Airbender, Avatar the second to last airbender?, Basically every character in the show is here, Bonding, Could be read as self-insert, F/M, I’m bad at tags, Like it’s never said but yknow, PTSD kind of, Pining, like massive spoilers don't read unless you've finished the whole show, mute main character, mutual pining (kind of), servant oc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:01:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 32,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24541237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlsinbikinis/pseuds/girlsinbikinis
Summary: Come, sit around my campfire. Let me tell you a story.
Relationships: Zuko (Avatar)/Original Female Character(s)
Series: The Lady of No Words [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1902685
Comments: 83
Kudos: 230





	1. Chapter 1

You know, little one, it’s dangerous to go out in the woods late at night. But- no, don’t run. You got lucky tonight. Sit with me, I have a story to tell. 

My tale starts with a young girl, running in the woods, as flames eat up the trees behind her. She begins to think it’s her end, that she’s going to join the rest of her people in a fiery death, when she finds a cave cut unnaturally into a mountain. Though she is young, she can recognize an earthbender’s work. She scampers in and waits for the storm of death to pass.

Hours later, days later, weeks later, the girl emerges, her bald head covered in hair for the first time in years. The forest is burned and smoking still, but she doesn’t feel it. The air cools her face- the air that has been with her ever since the beginning. Her shoulders fall as she realizes where she will have to go- the Fire Nation. It’s a long ride- and a longer walk, she remembers, now that her bison is gone. Before she leaves, she kneels in the ashes on the cliff above her home. 

“ _I will avenge you. And if not it’s not I who does it, it will be my daughter- or my grand-daughter, or my great-granddaughter. My family will not stop until the airbenders can rest in peace.”_ It’s ironic how it all turns out. 

oOo

Fei was born singing. It’s said the birds fell silent and the creek stopped moving at the sounds of her wails. Her mother beamed down at the girl- she doesn’t know her daughter’s destiny. She doesn’t know that her daughter will help save the world. 

It was a good year to be born in the Fire Nation. They were well on their way to taking the planet, and the citizens were rejoiceful. It was a bad year to be born an airbender. Ever since the beginning, Fei was taught to hide her power. It didn’t take long for her parents to decide that their girl was safest inside the home of the people hunting her. The girl was sent to work in the castle of the Fire Lord, where she was joyful in her duties. She sang every day on her way to work, and while she was waiting for her father to pick her up. She sang while cleaning, while cooking, while bathing. The only time she didn’t sing was when she was in front of the royal family. Then, she was silent and respectful- the songbird knew how to close her beak. 

And the joy she got from song is what makes it all so tragic. She didn’t mean to be treasonous- she had just been repeating a lullaby her mother sang her. But it didn’t matter, the Princess still heard her. 

“You know, that song sounds an awful lot like an airbender lullaby.” the 11-year-old turned to face the voice, feeling dread fill her stomach. She sunk into a bow when she realized who was speaking to her. 

“I’m so sorry, Princess Azula. I didn’t mean it, I was just-”

“Oh, it doesn’t matter what you meant. What matters is what you did- and what you did is disrespect my family.”

“Please, Princess. I’m so sorry.” Fei spoke into the dirt. 

“Don’t worry. I won’t let my father punish you.” Azula stood from her spot under the tree. 

“Thank you, Princess.”

“I’ll do it myself.” Fei looked up at the princess as her hand lit on fire. As the young servant opened her mouth to scream, the princess shot a jet of fire down her throat. 

The damage, in the end, was minimal. Her mother brought her to a waterbender she knew- being an illegal descendant of airbenders came with valuable knowledge of others who had escaped- and she was told to be grateful that the Princess was merciful and stopped before she killed Fei. But not even this healer could fix the girl’s vocal cords. The songbird would never sing again.


	2. The Boy In the Iceberg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei enjoys a game of Pai Sho

The cold air sweeps through Fei’s dark hair. She wears it loose, and it tumbles in waves around her shoulders as her uniform’s corset digs uncomfortably into her chest. General Iroh sits across the game board from her, and his eyes twinkle at her as she places a tile on the table. In a flurry of hand gestures, she tells him it’s his turn, but he’s interrupted before he can respond. 

“I don’t understand why you put up with the mute servant, Uncle. She’s meant to serve, not be a conversationalist.” Fei frowns at the Prince’s back, ignoring the feeling in her stomach. She’s had to put up with seasickness for years- though, she didn’t have it at first.  _ A few years at sea would be expected to help nausea, not make it worse.  _ She’s used to his treatment as well- he saw her airbending not long after they started their journey and he still doesn’t believe that she’s not the Avatar, even after years of his Uncle’s persistent arguing. 

“You would do well to respect your servants, Prince Zuko. They could end up saving your life someday.” Fei smiles at the old man, then frowns as he puts a piece down. He’s winning- again. 

While Zuko- she supposes she should call him Prince Zuko more often, but it’s not as though she can call anyone anything- broods at the stern, her pai sho game continues. 

She’s so wrapped up in her game that she nearly doesn’t notice the ray of bright blue light. 

Zuko turns to General Iroh. “Finally! Uncle, do you realize what this means?” Fei looks up at Iroh in time to catch his eyes roll. 

“I won’t get to finish my game?” Fei laughs- well, she can’t laugh, but she likes to pretend by smiling and covering her mouth.

“It means my search is about to come to an end.” A traitorous thought in Fei’s head doesn’t want his search to be done. She doesn’t want to return to the castle, where she’ll be forced back into servitude under Azula. Iroh sighs and places a tile on the board. 

“That light came from an incredibly powerful source. It has to be him!” 

“Or it’s just the celestial lights. We’ve been down this road before, Prince Zuko. I don’t want you to get too excited over nothing.” He sets another tile down. “Please, sit. Why don’t you enjoy a cup of calming Jasmine tea?” Fei clenches her fist in her lap. She really does  _ not _ want him to sit next to her. 

“I don’t need any calming tea! I need to capture the Avatar! Helmsman, head a course for the light!” Iroh sighs again, and gestures Fei towards the cup. She takes it in both hands, gratefully, before blowing a gust of cool air on it. Hot beverages irritate her throat- though, food does that too. She’s much too skinny for a girl of 15, but sometimes she’s in too much pain to finish a meal. Still, Iroh’s tea is too good to turn down.

Their game plays on until Iroh wins. Fei huffs, and a piece of hair flies out of her face. 

“ _ You always win _ .” She tells him, and he smiles. 

“Lots of practice, my girl.” She rolls her eyes theatrically, but waves his hand away when he goes to pick up the game. In that same movement, the wind picks up the pieces and they settle neatly into the box. “I’m going to bed now.” He yawns and stretches. “Yep, a man needs his rest.” After a pause, he says “Prince Zuko, you need some sleep. Even if you’re right, and the Avatar is alive, you won’t find him. Your father, grandfather, and great-grandfather all tried and failed.” Fei rises to her feet to accompany Iroh to his rooms. 

“Because their honor didn’t hinge on the Avatar’s capture. Mine does. This coward’s 100 years of hiding are over.” He snaps. Fei supposes that, if nothing else, that light will briefly distract him from suspecting her of being the Avatar. 

She’s not the Avatar. She’s lived with firebenders for years and doesn’t know any firebending, and she’s never even met an airbender, yet she knows basic tricks. Iroh waits for her in the doorway. She smiles at him, her silver eyes crinkling. 

“I’m sorry for how Prince Zuko treats you.” He tells her, but she waves his apology away. “No.” He insists. “He’s a good boy, just lost. I wish he would show the world the way I see him.” Fei gazes at him. She hasn’t seen her parents in years, and Iroh is the closest she has. It’s lovely, his unbreakable love for the prince. 

oOo

Fei waits in front of Iroh’s door while he sleeps. She’s legally Zuko’s servant, but the Prince doesn’t use her often- and she hates when he does. He refuses to learn sign language and gets angry whenever she bends the wind to talk for her, so she’s forced to pantomime wildly- and though he doesn’t say it, Fei’s sure he’s disgusted by her. Her mouth has the same burn scars as around his eye, and he wouldn’t even look at her for the first few weeks. 

When Iroh wakes, he walks out of the room with a purpose, fetching a handful of firebending guards. 

“Prince Zuko, if you’re certain that you have found the Avatar, then you need to train.” He snaps. Obviously, the General has had more nightmares. Ever since she lost the ability to speak, she’s picked up on the vocal cues of others. The shake on “train”, the separation between “prince” and “Zuko”- yes, he’s certainly been having nightmares again. In moments, the deck is covered in blasts of fire, and Fei closes her eyes. 

“Again.” He says sternly. Fei lets out another breath. Ever since Azula attacked her, she’s been jumpy around flames. 

When the blasts stop, Iroh says. “No! Power in firebending comes from the breath, not the muscles. The breath becomes energy in the body. The energy extends past your limbs and becomes fire. Get it right this time.”

“No. I’ve mastered this set, Uncle. I want to learn to fight an airbender.” Fei’s mouth gapes. 

She points at herself. “ _ Me?”  _ the wind murmurs. 

“Yes, you. I’m still not convinced that you’re not the Avatar.” Fei clenches her jaw.

“Absolutely not. She’s not trained in combat.”

“Then teach me the next step. The Avatar, if not...  _ Her _ … has had a century to teach himself the 4 elements. I’ll need more than basic firebending to stop him.”

“You are too impatient. You have yet to master your basics. Drill it again.” 

Now it’s Zuko’s turn to clench his jaw. Before Fei has time to brace herself, Zuko sends a blast of fire at one of the guards, and Fei can’t stop remembering- 

_ Heat, her throat is burning, she’s screaming, she’s breaking, she’s burning up, someone’s laughing, someone’s crying out, she can’t sing, she can’t breathe, she can’t- _

“Zuko!” Iroh snaps, and Fei realizes she’s slumped over. “I’ve told you about uncontrolled blasts. You know what Azula did.”

“Maybe she shouldn’t have sung treasonous songs, if she couldn’t handle the punishment. Teach me the next set.” Fei pushes herself onto her feet, her red skirt swirling. 

“Very well. Fei, you may take your leave.” Iroh tells her, and she bows to him, before walking away, still feeling someone staring at her back.

oOo

She’s retrieved by a guard. 

“They’ve found the Avatar. The prince is requesting you be ready, in case of a fight.” She nods to the man, and scrapes her hair away from her face and into a bun, ignoring the fact that she would be no use in a fight. 

When Fei makes it out on the deck, she’s confused. The only thing she can see is the Southern Water Tribe, which they’ve already been to- the Avatar isn’t here. But then, Zuko gestures her over. 

“Look.” He hands her his telescope, and she looks out to see a little bald boy carrying a girl in a blue coat. Fei looks up at the prince, and traces an arrow on her head. Her great-grandmother had paintings of some of her friends from the Western Air Temple, and the strange orange suit the boy was wearing could have been straight out of one of them. 

“I know. Whoever sent off that blast is the Avatar.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1- I’ve decided to keep on writing this uwu  
> 2- if there are any Chinese ppl who could tell me if Fei is an Actual Name that would be great  
> 3- if commenting is ur style please feel free to ask any questions!!  
> 4- chapter titles will be the same as episode titles for now, unless I decide otherwise  
> 5- drink some water and take your meds please, you’re doing great


	3. The Avatar Returns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei meets the last airbender

A group of guards comes forwards with armor for Zuko. Fei pulls back to where Iroh is standing. Zuko stands, motionless, as they dress him, his ponytail whipping as the wind rises. With a start, she realizes it’s her, and she lets it slow to a stop. The tribe’s village draws closer, and Fei’s heart starts beating faster. She’s about to meet the only other airbender alive- and he’s going to be the Fire Nation’s prisoner. 

When they don’t stop at the bank, Fei’s heart starts absolutely pounding. Sure, living with Zuko for 3 years wasn’t the tamest, but she hadn’t  _ seen _ anyone die. She runs to the railing in time to see the snow wall fall. A tall boy is on the ground in the shadow of the boat, and nearly gets crushed by the walkway. As Zuko walks down the ramp, she sees the boy’s muscles twitch. Before Fei can do anything, the boy charges at Zuko, but the Prince kicks him easily to the ground.

“Where is he?” Zuko asks, furious. She can practically see the steam rising off of his skin. He grabs an old woman. “He’d be about this age. Master of all the elements?” No one speaks up, and he shoves the woman back into the crowd. “I know you’re hiding him.” 

The boy picks his club back up and runs again towards Zuko, who ducks just in time, sending him flying. The boy avoids the fire blast and throws a boomerang. She turns to follow it, and pulls her arm towards her. The boomerang clatters on the deck of the ship, and Fei bends down to pick it up. She stands looking at it for a moment, unsure why she had interfered, before sending it back down off the ship towards the water tribe boy. 

“Sokka!” A girl around Fei’s age cries out. The boy- this Sokka- looks up in time to catch it, but it distracts Zuko, and Sokka knocks him down. Suddenly, the bald boy from earlier emerges, riding a penguin.  _ A penguin?  _ He slid into the Prince’s legs, knocking him over into the snow. 

“Hey Katara. Hey, Sokka.” The boy says after falling off his penguin and blinking up stupidly. 

“Hi, Aang. Thanks for coming.” Sokka says moodily. Fei stares at the boy.  _ Aang _ . The last airbender. He could train her, he could-

She’s distracted by Zuko getting back to his feet. He signals to his guards, and they spread out, surrounding Aang. The two boys shift into a fighting stance, though Fei can’t find it in her heart that Aang would win. He sweeps the ground with his staff, sending up a blast of snow.  _ I never thought of that! _ Zuko looks at the boy in shock. 

“Looking for me?” He asks, and Fei realizes that Zuko hadn’t gotten her meaning when she had traced the arrow on her forehead. Had he just missed it all together? If he hadn’t needed to get a second opinion on the boy being the Avatar, then what had he needed her for?

“You’re the airbender? You’re the Avatar?” 

“Aang?” The oldest girl asks- Katara?- looking bewildered.

“No way!” Sokka gasps as Zuko and Aang circle each other.

“I’ve spent years preparing for this encounter. Training. Meditating. You’re just a child!” Zuko yells, and Fei can recognize the regret in his voice- the regret that comes from doing something for years only to find out it was all for naught. 

“Well, you’re just a teenager.” Aang tilts his head to the side. Zuko clenches his fists, and Fei has just enough time to grab the cold railing of the boat before he’s blasting blast after blast at Aang. She clenches her eyes closed, and feels General Iroh’s comforting hand on her shoulder. She’s pulled back to reality by Aang saying, “If I go with you, will you promise to leave everyone alone?”  _ No _ . He doesn’t know what he’s offering. 

Zuko’s back straightens, and he nods. Aang’s small body- he can’t be older than 11 or 12- is grabbed by the guards, and another takes his staff. 

“No! Aang, don’t do this!” Katara cries out.

“Don’t worry, Katara. It’ll be okay. Take care of Appa until I get back.” Fei’s heart breaks. She’s heard of sky bison from her mother, but she’s never actually seen them. It’s then that she decides that- this time, at least, she will do all in her power to free the boy. 

“Head a course for the Fire Nation. I’m going home.” Zuko says, and the certainty in his words makes her stomach drop. Maybe she shouldn’t free Aang, Zuko’s been in so much pain for so long…

But then, Aang passes her, and looks her in the eyes, and she knows he recognizes something about her. It’s her duty to her people to give him a fighting chance. He turns to look at her one last time, and her resolve is firm. 

“I trust you won’t do anything to compromise my mission?” the Prince says from behind her. “You’re a citizen of the Fire Nation. You won’t try to save him.” Fei shakes her head. 

_ “You don’t have to worry about me, sir.” _ The wind whispers. He turns sharply away, to where the Avatar is being tied up. 

“This staff will make an excellent gift for my father. I suppose… you wouldn’t know about fathers, being raised by monks. Take the Avatar to the prison hold. And take this to my chambers.” He passes the staff to Fei.  _ Foolish _ , she thinks,  _ to give an airbender the last relic of her people _ . But still, she follows the guards, turning a corner to leave it in Zuko’s room. She hesitates before setting it down, hitting it against the ground. It springs open into a glider, and Fei can already feel the wind streaming through her hair, her skirt flapping.  _ Freedom _ . 

“That’s certainly an interesting contraption.” General Iroh says from behind her, and Fei starts as the glider returns to a simple staff. 

“ _ I wasn’t-”  _ She starts to sign, but he starts talking before she can finish. 

“Yes you were. Airbenders were always meant to be free, and I won’t say anything if you leave. But, I ask of you, stay. Prince Zuko needs someone to fight for.” Fei furrows her brow, but sighs. 

“ _ I’ll stay.”  _ She signs glumly. 

“Thank you.” They’re interrupted before they can say anything further by Zuko coming in. He gives his uncle a strange look, but ignores Fei. She slips out before Iroh can give her more confusing advice, but she’s not quite out of earshot she hears them begin a murmured conversation. Before she can process whether she wants to listen in or stick to her duties, light footsteps race down the hall towards her. She looks up, and sees Aang. Her eyes widen in shock, but she just points down the hallway towards Zuko’s chambers. 

“Thanks.” He pants, running towards the door. It’s only when the door slams shut that she remembers that Zuko’s still in there. 

Aang hurries out after a worryingly long fight, hurrying down the hallway. Before he makes it to the door to the control room, he turns back to look at her.

“What’s your name?” He calls from the hallway. Fei smiles sadly, and sends a gust of air to whisper, “ _ Fei _ .” into his ear. At Aang’s confused face, she points to her scarred lips. He just turns, and kicks the hatch open. 

“You.” A voice hisses from behind her, and Fei turns to see Zuko. “You helped him escape, didn’t you?” Fei shakes her head furiously, but he still grabs her thin arm roughly. “Well, either way, I’m sure the Avatar wouldn’t want me to kill the last piece of his precious temple, would he?” Fei just looks at him, eyes wide with fright, as he drags her down the hallway. 

“Avatar!” He yells when he makes it up to the deck, his hand lighting on fire. Fei thought she would be able to stay calm, but the fire so close to her face brings the memories back. She struggles against his iron grip, trying to release herself. Aang, who had been close to escaping, turned to face them. Fei shook her head, trying to tell him to go, but she didn’t need to. “What is that?” Zuko asks from above her. She looks up, and sees something she never thought she’d see in this life. 

“Appa!” Aang cries out. He turns, again, to Fei, but seeing the sky-bison had given her a burst of strength. She manages to squirm her way out of Zuko’s grip, and gestures for Aang to go. He leaps off the edge of the ship, and Fei gives him the only gift she can- a burst of cold wind to send him flying higher. Her gift is nearly worthless. A guard jumps and latches onto the boy’s ankle, but Aang turns and sends an iceberg crumbling onto the ship. The man falls off, and the Avatar lands easily on his bison’s back. It soars off, until it’s just a speck in the sky. 

“Well, good news for the Fire Lord. The Fire Nation’s greatest threat is just a little kid.” General Iroh says, emerging from belowdecks. 

“That  _ kid,  _ uncle, would be in my custody if not for  _ her _ .” Zuko points a shaking finger at Fei, and she resigns herself to the inevitable punishment. 

“Now, Prince Zuko, you can’t prove that.” 

“Yes I can. As he was escaping, that  _ girl _ helped him.” 

“You are so dramatic, Prince Zuko. She was likely just recovering from nearly having her face burned.” 

“You are dismissed.” Zuko says, turning away from her. She bows, and walks back to her quarters, grateful for the small act of mercy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1- this is the last time I’m gonna say this b/c otherwise I’ll feel like I have to say it every chapter: not everything in this story is accurate to canon or asl/cultures I’m taking inspo from. This story is for fun, and I’d love for it to be accurate so someone contacting me would be great but I’m not gonna worry about it  
> 2- comments and kudos are a+  
> 3- next chapter is “in which Fei is interrogated”  
> 4- drink some water and take your meds, you’re doing great


	4. The Southern Air Temple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei is interrogated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for violence (and flashbacks should I start doing a tw for those too?)

The ship pulls into the harbor at dawn the next day. Fei dutifully trails Zuko and General Iroh off the ship, where they turn to look at the ship. 

“Uncle, I want the repairs made as quickly as possible. I don’t want to stay too long and risk losing his trail.” She can hear the angry edge in his voice- there wouldn't be a trail to follow if not for her. 

“You mean the Avatar?” The General asks, disinterested. 

“Don’t mention his name on these docks! Once word gets out that he’s alive, every firebender in the world will be out looking for him, and I don’t want anyone getting in the way!” He swings his arm wide, nearly hitting Fei in the face. She steps back, and bumps into someone behind her.

“Getting in the way of what, Prince Zuko?” The man asks, and the two men in front of Fei turn, eyes wide. 

“Captain Zhao.” Prince Zuko says, distastefully. Fei turns, not quite sure what to do.  _ Should I bow? _

“It’s commander now. And,” he bows to General Iroh. “General Iroh. Great hero of our nation.” 

“Retired general.” Iroh sounds pleased at the respect he’s being given. 

“The Fire Lord’s brother and son are welcome guests anytime. What brings you to my harbor?” Commander Zhao asks. 

“Our ship is being repaired.” 

“That’s quite a lot of damage.” 

“Yes,” Zuko says. “You wouldn’t believe what happened. Uncle! Tell Commander Zhao what happened.” 

“Yes. I will do that. It was incredible!” But Iroh doesn’t continue, only mutters something to Zuko. 

“Yes! Right into… an Earth Kingdom ship!” Fei can read the disbelief on Zhao’s face, and sighs internally. 

“Really? You must regale me with all of the thrilling details. Join me for a drink?” 

“Sorry, but we have to go.” 

“Prince Zuko, show Commander Zhao your respect. We would be honored to join you. Do you have any ginseng tea? It’s my favorite.” Iroh and Zhao walk off, but Zuko stays behind for a moment. He growls in annoyance, and looks as though he’s about to firebend, but he looks guiltily at Fei, and just clenches his fist and storms after the two older men. Fei trails him into a squat red building, where Zhao and Iroh are waiting. 

“The  _ girl _ isn’t necessary.” Zhao snaps, noticing that Fei was coming with them. She stops, looking at Iroh, unsure what to do. 

“Go back to the ship, Fei. We’ll be back soon.” Iroh tells her, and she nods. 

The walk back to the ship is strange. She hasn’t been away from Prince Zuko or Iroh in- months, she realizes. It leaves her with the feeling she’s lost something. 

The walkway is up when she gets back to the boat, and gives a hollow knock when she raps her fist on it

“Hey, Fei.” a man named Wang calls. “Hey! That rhymes!” Fei waves up at him, grinning. He’s always been nice to her, even through their language barrier. A ladder lowers with a  _ whoosh _ , and she scampers up, jumping over the railing. 

“Want to play cards, Fei?” A cook calls, but she shakes her head. A chorus of dissent rings out, but she just shrugs and continues to her chambers. She knows what they think of her- that she’s high and mighty just because she’s the Prince’s personal servant, but the truth is that it’s difficult to communicate with them. She likes them, she does, and it’s fun to talk when they’re on their own, but when they’re in a group the conversation flows far too quickly for her to keep up. 

Because she’s on the lower floor, she’s the last one Zhao’s guards find. 

oOo

The guard’s hands are iron around Fei’s thin arms. She can feel her chest tightening, terrified of what the firebender in front of her is going to do to her. 

“Why are you here?” the helmsman asks, and Fei realizes she’s the only one being held- in her panic, she hadn’t noticed. 

“Commander Zhao wants to know why  _ you’re _ here.” The man in front of them says.  _ He knows about the Avatar. _

“Repairs.” the helmsman says, confused. 

“Why you’re  _ really  _ here.” 

“Our ship was damaged-”

“How was your ship damaged?” 

“A fight.”  _ Thank the Spirits _ , Fei thinks. He’s smart enough to keep secrets. 

“A fight with the Avatar.” 

“I can’t tell you that.” Maybe Fei ought to spend more time with the crew, keeping up with the conversation be damned. 

“Fine. Maybe you don’t know. But I can guess who does.” The man says, and gestures to the man holding Fei. She stumbles in front of him, trying to stay upright and retain some sort of dignity. 

Their interrogator grabs the front of her dress, and she gasps. “Was the Avatar aboard this ship?” He yells in her face. She tries to bring her arms up to sign a response, but they’re wrenched back behind her by someone she can’t see. “Answer me!” Spittle flies in her face, and she tries to force something past her burned vocal cords, but all that comes out is a strained groan. His fist makes contact with her right eye, and she falls from his grasp. 

“Stop it! She can’t-” Someone from the crew tries, but is interrupted with a “Silence!” From her tormentor. She’s hoisted back up from under her arms, but can’t find the strength to stand on her own, panic filling her bones. 

“I’m going to ask one more time. Was the Avatar here?” Through her fear, she still knows not to answer him. Another blow hits her nose, and she feels blood start to trickle as her eyes tear up. 

“Yes! He was. He escaped.” The same voice calls out, and Fei is dropped like a sack of bricks. 

“Was that so hard?” The interrogator snarled. 

“She can’t speak.” She places the voice as Wang, the man who dropped the ladder for her. 

“Come with me.” He says, ignoring Wang‘s words. The room clears, and Fei is left crumpled in the front. She pushes herself onto her feet, using the wall for support, and makes her way down a hallway, using the wall for support. The first door she finds opens with little resistance, and she finds herself collapsed among mops and brooms, but she can’t find the strength to care. 

It’s in the darkness of the cleaning closet that she lets the memories lapping at her mind flood her senses, _ That sounds like an awful lot like an airbender lullaby. Oh, I won’t let my father punish you. I’ll do it myself. Pain, filling her, breaking her, someone’s calling her name, someone’s running down the hall- _

“Fei?” the door bangs open, and General Iroh is there, his form casting a shadow over her slight form. “Prince Zuko! I found her!” She’s lifted from her bed of rags, and is dropped into warm arms. She lets herself be carried for a ways, until she realizes who’s holding her. Fei taps the Prince’s chest, trying to get his attention. 

“What.” He says gruffly, and it’s not much of a question. 

“ _ I can walk _ .” The wind whispers. He sets her down, a bit roughly, and she stumbles before regaining her balance. With a wipe to her face, she dimly realizes that her nose has stopped bleeding.

They come to a stop in front of the door to her room. 

“Were… were you the one who told Zhao’s guards?” Zuko asks her, and she turns to face him, pointing at her throat. “No, I know that but- Oh, nevermind.” She can tell his temper is rising, and feels her own rising in response. What right does he have to anger? “I expect you back to work in the morning.” He tells her. With her right eye swollen shut, she can’t see his burned one, and she can imagine what he would look like without his scar.  _ Just a normal boy.  _ A normal boy with pretty eyes. The unnatural gold is reflected by the flickering torches, and is really quite beautiful.  _ A boring boy.  _ She realizes. His scar is a piece of his strange charm. 

“ _ Yes.” _ she signs, before opening the door to her room. 

“ _ Goodnight.”  _ the wind murmurs, before the door slams shut. She hears an exasperated groan, and smiles. Maybe life aboard this ship wasn’t  _ so  _ bad. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1- comments and kudos are my serotonin  
> 2- I know this fic has zuko in a straight relationship but zukka 2020 society has progressed past the need for zutara  
> 3- but also.... don’t fetishize gay men  
> 4- drink some water and take your meds, I love you  
> 5- I FORGOT WANG FIRE IS SOKKAS NAME IN THE FIRE NATION AHDHDHDHDH IVE PREWRITTEN SO MUCH SO IM NOT CHANGING IT BUT I JUSY. Forgot. Anyways ❤️


	5. The Kyoshi Warriors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei has a discussion

A few days have passed since the interrogation at the harbor, and Iroh has been helping Fei get over her fear of fire. She can now watch Zuko’s drills without closing her eyes or even bracing herself, so long as she’s not caught off-guard. She’s standing just on the inside of the door to the Prince’s room, watching him meditate curiously. A knock rings out, and his good eye opens in annoyance.

“Well, get it.” he snaps, and Fei opens the door with a bow. General Iroh stands there, with a rolled piece of parchment. 

“Greetings, Fei. I wish to speak with my nephew.” Iroh says, kindly. Fei swings her arm wide, allowing him in. 

“The only reason you should be interrupting me is if there’s news of the Avatar.” Zuko tells his uncle. 

“Well, there is news, but it’s not good. Prince Zuko, you must promise me not to overreact.”

“Uncle, you taught me that a true leader always keeps a level head. I’m sure I can take it.” Iroh looks over his shoulder at Fei, and she understands his meaning. Prince Zuko will not be able to take this. She clenches her fists, letting the pain of her nails ground her. 

“Okay then. We have no idea where the Avatar is.” 

“What?!” Zuko cries out, the flames bursting into pillars of heat, but the shock of what the General says makes Fei go still.  _ They don’t know? _

__ “You should really open a window in here.” Iroh tells the boy, fanning himself. 

“Give me the map!” He orders, and snatches it from his uncle’s hands. 

“There have been multiple sightings of the Avatar, but he’s impossible to track down.” 

“How am I gonna find him? He’s clearly a master of evasive maneuvering.” 

“What about you, Fei? You’re an airbender. Where do you think he is?” Iroh asks her, and she shrugs. 

She puts up her hands, then pauses. She doesn’t know the word for “Air-bison”, so she spells it out. “ _ A-I-R B-I-S-O-N,”  _ Then “ _ He can fly.” _

“What? What’s she saying?” Zuko asks his uncle. 

“The Avatar and his crew can fly. They have an air-bison.” 

“Damn it!” Zuko pushes the map off the table in frustration. Fei brings it towards her on a breeze, and unrolls it on the table again. She traces the lines, connecting the points, then taps the North Pole. 

“ _ Waterbending _ .” she signs. 

“She’s right, Prince Zuko. They’re headed to the North Pole- the Avatar must need to learn waterbending.”

“ _ Impatient. Jumpy. 100 years.”  _ Now, she really feels the communication barrier. She gives up, and lets the wind whisper, “ _ He’s been missing out for 100 years. He’s a young boy. He won’t go straight there. Set a course for the North Pole but don’t hurry. Another lead would be better.”  _ the Prince doesn’t even seem to mind her use of airbending. 

“Very well.” Fei finds herself to be a bit surprised at how he instantly believed her. She bows, and retreats back to her corner.

oOo

“Fei, did you hear? The Avatar is on Kyoshi Island!” Wang tells her as she’s fetching the Prince’s meal. She’s learned a lot about Wang ever since he saved her during the interrogation. His mother is an earthbender, and his father’s not a bender of any type. He didn’t get any of his mother’s bending skills, but he’s glad he didn’t. 

“ _ Really?”  _ She signs, bringing a hand to her mouth, the other carefully balancing the steaming fish. 

“That’s what I heard from the man I bought this fish from! And he heard it from the fisherman who caught this, and  _ he _ heard it from a little girl who spoke to the Avatar herself.” He tells Fei. 

“ _ Thank you.” _ she tells him, and he smiles. 

“No problem, Fei. Hey, when do you get off?” 

She flashes one finger, twice. “ _ Eleven.”  _ Wang droops at her words. 

"Oh. Right. Well, good luck!” He says to her as the door swings shut behind her. Fei shakes her head as she glides down the hallway.  _ Good luck _ . 

The door to the dining room opens when she knocks with her foot. 

“Oh, Fei, finally. I’m starving!” General Iroh exclaims. Fei smiles as she sets the plate down on the table. 

“ _ Hot. _ ” she signs, then takes a deep breath. “ _ The Avatar is on Kyoshi Island _ .” Iroh raises his eyebrows. 

“Really?” he asks, the same way she did. As she nods, Zuko asks.

“What? Uncle, what did she say?” 

“The plate is hot.” 

“Hmph. I could have guessed, thank you.” 

“She also said that the Avatar is on Kyoshi Island.”

“The Avatar is on Kyoshi Island?!” Zuko yells. “Why wouldn’t you say that first?” 

“I’m just telling you what she said.”

“Ready the rhinos. He’s not getting away from me this time.” Fei bows, and opens the door for him. 

“Are you going to finish that?” Iroh asks his nephew, who storms back in and grabs the plate.

“I was going to save it for later!” 

When they dock at Kyoshi Island, Fei can sense the atmosphere of celebration. Those rumors must have been correct- the Avatar was really here. She and General Iroh wait on the deck of the boat as the Prince disembarks.

“It must be hard for you.” He says, as they watch the rhinos fade into the distance. She looks at him, confused. “Being on the opposite side of the last airbender.” Fei pauses, considering what to say. 

_ “Yes.” _ is all she signs, then “ _ I’ve been taught to fear airbenders all my life. To be one… to be regular, is difficult.”  _

“That’s not what I meant.” She just nods. It is hard to be serving someone who’s intent on killing the last of her kind, but to admit that, even to Iroh- who could be argued to be her closest friend- is not safe. Fei knows that Iroh isn’t trying to bait her into breaking the law, but the truth is that, though Iroh is far wiser than her, he’s never had to live the way she has. 

Fei’s attention is caught by smoke rising from the horizon. Her back stiffens, though not in terror of the fire, but in fear for where it’s coming from. 

“I do want my nephew to be happy, but I hope that doesn’t come with him burning down an entire culture. I’ve been lucky enough to see the Kyoshi Warriors fight. It’s a style that deserves better than death at the hand of the Prince.” Fei nods, looking out at the beautiful island. Again, she thinks about the Avatar’s staff, the glider it transforms into. With something like that, she could go wherever she pleased, be whoever she imagined.  _ Maybe I’d even make it to Ba Sing Se.  _ She’d heard it was a town for refugees, where they would be protected from the Fire Nation’s wrath. Could she do it? Despite the feeling of imprisonment, she did quite like the comforts that came with her job. 

“Spirits. He did it again.” the General says from next to her. Fei shakes herself out of her thoughts of Ba Sing Se, and sees the Avatar’s air-bison flying above her. She can’t help but allow her pale lips to stretch into a small smile as she sees the six-legged beast fly above her. A soaked Zuko comes charging towards the ship on his rhino, yelling at them to follow the beast. “Ah, well. At least he has a bit of hope.” Fei doesn’t bother asking who the General is talking about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1- Suki 💞💞💞  
> 2- criminal minds did not need to pop off that hard what the fuck  
> 3- comments and kudos keep me inspired  
> 4- drink some water and take ur meds!!! You’re doing great.


	6. The King of Omashu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei sleeps with the Prince

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: zuko gets drunk and throws things, vomit occurs

The boat pulls out of the harbor as quickly as it can, but it’s too late. The bison has already flown out of the sightline of the boat, and the Prince doesn’t take it lightly. He rages around the ship, breaking expensive pieces of furniture that would have broken anyways in the storm that follows that night. 

Zuko spends the storm hunched over a glass of wine. Fei knows better than to try to airbend around him, but it doesn’t matter. He’s so far gone that he’d barely notice if she threw a bucket of ice water on him. She’s not even sure if it’s legal for a boy of his age to drink, and yet he keeps going and Iroh hasn’t intervened. 

“Why don’t you leave?” He asks her, and it surprises her out of her musings. “Why didn’t you, I mean, when you had the Avatar’s glider. I tried, I mean I wanted- no, I didn’t want it, but-” He seems frustrated by his lack of communication. “Did you think about it?” Fei walks over to the squat table and kneels in front of it, nodding. She holds her hand up, her thumb and forefinger close together, “ _ a little bit. _ ” He buries his head in his arms.

“I knew it.” He groans. Fei rolls her eyes. She wants to tell him the way she felt after the interrogation, how she had felt curled in his arms, how she had felt watching his Agni Kai, how she’s fairly certain that the Avatar personally could ask her to leave and she wouldn’t, but she can’t find the words, and she knows he wouldn’t understand. “You know, my mother left me.” Zuko mumbles. She can’t figure out how to respond, so she reaches a tentative hand out and pats him on the shoulder, but he sits straight up, rage filling his golden eyes. “She left me because of my father. And… and  _ Azula _ .” He hisses the name in a truly animalistic fashion, and Fei can feel herself drawing back.

“Azula always took  _ everything  _ from me. My mother. My favor. My  _ honor _ .” He pushes his empty ceramic mug towards her, but she pushes it back, telling him he’s had enough. “And  _ you _ . Do you want to know how much trouble I got in after I stopped my sister? She would have killed you.” She couldn’t find it in her to move.  _ He saved me? But I thought-  _ “That’s right. It was me who stopped her. I couldn’t bear to watch her kill my favorite songbird.” He scoffs.  _ Zuko liked hearing me sing?  _ The Prince picks up the mug, looking at the painted poem on the shiny gray surface. Just as Fei thinks he’s calmed down, he throws it, hard, at the wall behind her. She flinches and covers her head, hair falling from her neat bun.

“Spirits, I’m sorry. I don’t- I don’t know what happened.” He whispers, and when she looks up he’s drooped, looking into his lap. “That was out of line. I’m sorry.” He says louder. Fei straightens, and brushes her hair out of her face. Once she’s composed herself, she walks over to his side of the table, tapping on his shoulder. He looks up at her, but it doesn’t take long for him to understand her meaning. The Prince stands, shakily, and stumbles. Fei catches him with both arms, doing her best to keep the tall man aloft. Zuko exhales, and she gets the feeling that he hasn’t been held in a very long time.  _ Neither have I _ , She realizes.

He disentangles himself after far too long than is appropriate, and backs up. Fei is just about to help him take off his armor- he’s far too inebriated to do it himself- when he throws up. All down her front. 

_ Spirits. _ She thinks. 

“I’m- I’m sorry-” He starts, and reaches out as though he’s going to wipe it off. Fei holds up a hand, edging towards the door. “No,” Zuko murmurs in a broken sort of voice, watching her. She taps her wrist and holds up her hand, fingers extended.  _ “Five minutes.”  _ She can’t tell if he understands her, but she slips out the door anyways. 

When she returns in a clean dress, the Prince is sitting on the edge of his bed. She taps him on the shoulder the same way she did earlier, and he stands reluctantly. Fei begins to carefully remove his armor, and he simply stands there and lets her. It’s not the same way he waits for his guards to put his armor before a battle, stoic and silent. It’s a sad sort of quiet, the quiet of someone who can’t find the strength to speak. 

Zuko falls backwards onto the bed when she’s done, still in his gray robe. He curls into the fetal position, holding his legs. Fei crawls next to him on her knees, and unties his ponytail so his dark hair falls around his face. Once that’s done, she stands and brushes herself off, preparing to take her leave. Her hand is on the doorknob when he startles her by speaking. 

“Please don’t go.” Fei turns to him, curled, alone on the bed, and she sighs.  _ Very well. _ She thinks, even though he can’t hear her. 

He lets out his own sort of sigh when she sits next to him.  _ He sleeps with his bad eye up _ . She notes, for no particular reason. Zuko pats the pillow next to him, and Fei tentatively lays down next to him, the scent of smoke filling her senses. He reaches a hand out for her, and she pulls back, but lays back down when she sees his face. His thumb brushes, ever so gently, the bruise ringing her eye. It’s mostly healed, but still stings when he touches it. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispers, and she closes her eyes. 

“ _ Not your fault _ .” The wind tells him. 

“Stay here. Stay with me.” Her eyes flutter open. The pillow rustles as she nods. 

When he wakes up, she’s gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1- follow me on Instagram @_girls.in.bikinis_ I’ll post chapter updates and I’d love to see any fanart (please!!!) or predictions you guys have. I’m also active on twitter, tiktok, and tumblr but it’s my personal so send the link to my insta pwease  
> 2- comments and kudos keep me motivated!!  
> 3- drink some water and take your meds, you’re beautiful


	7. Imprisoned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei is confused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: ,,,,,bullying?? Idk the crew is mean GFDGDSDDSA

“You guys, guess what Fei was doing last night.” a chef says while Fei is picking up the Prince’s dinner. She stills, almost out the door, the hot tray hurting her hands. “She spent her time with  _ Prince Zuko _ .” She could feel her face heating up.  _ No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,  _ her inner mantra chanted. Her body is going numb, and she felt the tray slip from out of her hands. Dimly, Fei realizes the voices in the room a floor above have stopped. 

“Aw… spider-cat got your tongue?” She kneels down and begins to carefully pick up the broken porcelain. Her fist clenches, and she resists the urge to bend the air out of his lungs. “She can’t even look at us. God, and here I was wondering why she never talked to us.”  _ I didn’t talk because I can’t speak _ , she thinks. Balancing the shards carefully in her hands, she pours them into the trash chute, and hits the bell rapidly. A bit rude, but she wants to get out of the room as quickly as possible. It doesn’t take long for the second meal to be ready, and Fei is relieved when it hits the metal ledge, but when she turns the door is blocked. “Come on, girly, give us all the details.”

“All the details of what?” General Iroh says, coming to investigate the crash. At the sight of the kindly old man, the tears she had been fighting back spilled over. She ducked through the silent crowd, biting her lip in a belated attempt to keep her dignity. “Fei-” Iroh says when she brushes by him, but Fei ignores him and keeps moving, just trying to get as far away as possible from the kitchen, and the faces leering down at her. 

The worst part about it is that she hasn’t even had time to figure out her feelings for the Prince. Does she wish they did more than what happened? Does she hate him? Fei thinks she should hate him. He brought all of this on her, all because he got drunk and sad, but she can’t find it in her heart to blame him. 

When she pushes the door open, Zuko is sitting alone at the table. 

“Finally, I- are you crying?” His harsh voice softens when he sees her face. Fei shakes her head, unsuccessfully trying to convince him to leave her alone. He stands and walks over to her as she sets his meal none-to-gently on the table. “Fei. What happened?” He sets a hand on her arm.  _ That’s the first time he’s said my name.  _ She looks up at the boy in front of her, the boy who had been so fragile last night, the boy who had-  _ The boy who had saved me _ . Just as she hadn’t had time to figure out her feelings, she hadn’t had time to process his words about her and his sister. 

She’s half certain they’re about to kiss, but the door bursts open and Iroh is standing in the door, a murderous glint in his eye. 

“Fei, if you don’t mind, I’d like to talk to my nephew.” Ignoring the ominous feeling in her stomach, Fei bows and closes the door gently behind her. They start talking quietly, and Fei doesn’t bother to try to listen in, not even when their voices start to rise. 

A guard walks stiffly down the hallway, avoiding Fei’s gaze. Just as he raises his hand to rap on the door, it opens. 

“Fe- Oh. Yes?” General Iroh asks, looking far more tired than he did even 15 minutes ago. 

“It’s the Avatar, General. He’s been spotted in a prison off the coast of the Earth Kingdom.”  _ Spirits.  _ Fei doesn’t think of herself as the type to swear, but she’s mostly forgotten about the search for the Avatar. 

oOo

The boat cuts smoothly through the water. The good news is that they were already near the Earth Kingdom, but the bad news is that they’re far too late when they finally get there. The Prince insists on searching the empty boat, to no avail.

“There’s nothing.” Zuko announced after looking off the edge towards the setting sun, but Fei didn’t miss the small choker he slipped into his sleeve. 

“I’m sorry, Prince Zuko.” General Iroh says as their ship takes off again. 

“For what? I have a way to track the Avatar, and we’re not anywhere close to Sozin’s Comet.” Fei doesn’t even bother wondering what Sozin’s Comet is, knowing it would only add to the feeling of betrayal she felt in her stomach. Her mind races with the memories of him scoffing at her attempts at communicating, the way he used her as a hostage for the Avatar, but stops on the way he looked when he thought she was about to leave. 

“We’re moving onto the mainland soon. Pack your things.” Zuko is saying as he walks away. Fei dutifully follows him to his rooms, kneeling before his trunk.

“What are you doing?” He asks her. She points at the empty case in front of her. “Oh. I didn’t- you don’t have to do that.” Fei considers tapping the pin of the Fire Nation crest on her chest, but she just takes the dismissal, bowing out of the room. She hears something crash, and a loud groan, but she just keeps moving.  _ Not my problem.  _

It’s only when she gets to her room that she realizes she doesn’t have much to pack. A few uniforms, a picture of her parents, a nondescript satchel, her identification. In fact, she can fit everything in the bag, and she does. No reason to haul extra weight. 

When she emerges onto the deck, the Prince and his uncle are standing near the helm, looking at the approaching bay. General Iroh turn at her approach, looking genial.

“Ah, Fei. I was just telling my nephew about the excellent springs that the Earth Kingdom sports. Very soothing.” Fei smiles at the old man. She knows that he nearly brought down Ba Sing Se, along with countless other violent victories, but it’s hard to see the old man as anything more than the kind being who gave her a home so far away from her own. The Prince also turns to her, and frowns.

“Where are the rest of your things?” He asks, gesturing to her satchel. Fei pats it. “In  _ there? _ ” 

_ “Yes.”  _ She signs, sure that Zuko understands basic signs. He shakes his head, turning back to the horizon.  __

“Are you ready, Prince Zuko?” the General asks.

“I’ve been ready.” He says sternly. Fei is not ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got my driver’s permit today woo!! Reach me @/_girls.in.bikinis_ on instagram. Comments and reviews keep me motivated. Take your meds and drink some water, I love you!!


	8. The Winter Solstice P1: The Spirit World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei escapes

It feels better than Fei could have expected to make camp on solid ground. She’s no earthbender, but years at sea with little breaks must have affected her more than she could tell. Dry leaves under her feet, branches catching in her hair, breaks from the endless sun, and air that didn’t smell vaguely of fish improved her mood greatly- or, it would, if she didn’t constantly have to deal with her coworker’s jeers. 

Fei could feel herself retreating. She didn’t spend much time with others before, but now she would go straight to her tent after her shift was done. She stopped eating breakfast, unable to stand the taunts, and would stay in her tent, waiting for 5 bells. Wang still tried to get her to interact with people, but it was useless. 

oOo 

“Uncle! It’s time to leave! Where are you? Uncle Iroh!” Prince Zuko calls, crashing through the foliage.

“Over here!” the General responds from a hot spring. 

“Uncle? We need to move on. We’re closing in on the Avatar’s trail, and I don’t want to lose him.” Fei’s hands, hidden under her long sleeves, are clenched tight. Their stay on land was coming to a close, and she couldn’t bear to be trapped back aboard the ship.  _ I could leave. _

“You look tired, Prince Zuko. Why don’t you join me in these hot springs and soak your troubles away?” The thought came as a surprise to Fei. Ever since Azula had maimed her, she had stayed away from anything remotely treasonous.

“My troubles cannot be soaked away. It’s time to go!” If she was going to leave, she would have to do it soon, before the ship left the mainland. 

“You should take your teacher’s advice and relax a little. The temperatures are just right. I heated it myself.” If she could make it to her tent to get her bag, there would be no way for the Fire Nation guards to find her. She was small, and fast.  _ Maybe I could even meet up with the Avatar.  _ Fei could see it. Her, learning airbending, being free.

“Enough. We need to leave now. Get out of the water!” 

“Very well!” Fei is so caught up in her thoughts of escape that she nearly doesn’t realize what she’s looking at. Her eyes flit quickly to the Prince’s face, then the trees behind the General’s head, her pale skin reddening. 

“On second thought, why don’t you take another few minutes? But be back at the ship in a half-hour or I’m leaving. You, stay with him.” Prince Zuko gestures Fei forwards.  _ Well, I don’t  _ need  _ my things.  _ As Zuko and his entourage retreated, Iroh sunk back into the water. 

oOo

“Do it.” Fei looks at the General, startled. It had been nearly 15 minutes since the Prince had left, and she hadn’t been paying attention. He looks over his shoulder at her. “I know what you are thinking about, Fei. You should do it. Leave.” Fei doesn’t bother signing anything, doesn’t bother asking how he knows, she just turns tail and flees into the forest. Before she makes it far, she airbends a burst of wind, grinning at the freedom. 

_ I can go anywhere. I can be anyone _ . She doesn’t have to be the mute servant who slept with the prince anymore. She could see the world, she could- 

Money. That’s what she needs first. All of her things are at the camp, and she doesn’t risk returning. _ Find the nearest town. Get a job. Save. See the world. _ A road cuts through the forest, and she follows it, the whole world and the rest of her life in front of her. 

The walk is long, but soon Fei can see a small village over the crest of a hill. As she starts to descend, she thinks of Zuko, and what the General had told her. “ _ Prince Zuko needs someone to fight for.” _ The Prince saved her, and she had betrayed him. Was that really fair? 

Yes, she decided, it was fair. Her mother had always told her that if something was meant to happen, then it would happen, despite anything that happens. 

_ “You were always meant to be born, my love. Your grandma wouldn’t have made it out of the Temple if you weren’t.”  _

“ _ How do you know it wasn’t you who was meant to be born, Mama?” _

_ “I’m no airbender. It’s you who carries her talent in your veins, and I just know you are going to take the world by storm. Now, it’s time for bed. I love you, Fei.” _

She’s so caught up in her thoughts that she doesn’t notice the Earth Kingdom soldiers pounding down the path towards her. Fei steps to the side just in time, bowing respectfully to the men. They slow to a stop, looking down at her. 

“What’s a young girl doing out here on her own?” Fei smiles up at the men, pointing at her throat.

“What?” The same man asks.

“She can’t speak, you dunce. Come on, we have other things to worry about.” The man in the back says. The man in the middle looks at her curiously. 

“She _ is  _ one of the things we have to worry about. Look at that dress, and her pin. She’s a Fire Nation servant- I wouldn’t be surprised if she worked on the Prince’s ship.” Before she can react to her disregard of common sense-  _ Of course they’d see the giant pin you wear- _ They’re surrounding her, trying her with rope and slinging her on the back of one of their ostrich-horses. The man she shares a horse with even gags her, adding insult to injury. 

The ostrich-horses follow the path slowly, making it nearly impossible for anyone to hear them. It doesn’t take long for Fei to recognize where the path is taking them- the hot springs. The hot springs that Iroh very well could still be in. 

She begins to struggle, hoping to buy the General time. 

“Quit moving.” the man in front of her says.  _ Maybe he isn’t even there. Maybe he made Zuko’s deadline, maybe he’s back aboard the ship and they’re sailing away.  _

“Who’s there?” Iroh’s deep voice calls out as they near, and Fei’s heart sinks. “A meadow vole! I should have known. You startled me, little one. It seems I dozed off and missed my nephew’s deadline, but it was a very sweet nap.” She can almost see the old man through the trees, but she closes her eyes.  _ They’re going to kill him. I can’t see this.  _ The ground rumbles, and she braces herself for a scream, the sound of her only friend dying, but all she hears is, 

“He’s a Fire Nation soldier.” 

“He’s no ordinary soldier. This is the Fire Lord’s brother, the Dragon of the West. The once-great General Iroh, but now, he’s our prisoner.” Fei carefully opens her eyes, and sees the men putting handcuffs on him. He makes eye contact with her, calm as ever. Iroh smiles, and Fei thinks that maybe they’ll get out of this. 

oOo 

After about an hour, the sun has set and Fei’s shivering. Normally, she’d have a coat of some sort, or she’d airbend a bubble of warm air, but the man riding ahead of her is too close for comfort. 

“Where are you taking me?” General Iroh asks the captain- she’s figured that out, at least, the man who talked to her initially is the captain. 

“We’re taking you to face justice.” 

“Right, but where specifically?” 

“A place you’re quite familiar with, actually. You once laid siege to it for 600 days, but it would not yield to you.” 

“Ah, the great city of Ba Sing Se.”  _ Fantastic. I just love to have my dreams ruined by my own idiocy.  _ Fei had wanted to go to Ba Sing Se for a while, ever since Azula had scarred her. It was a big enough city that there would surely be others who signed. But now, that would be impossible, for the only part of Ba Sing Se she would see would be the inside of a cell.

“It was greater than you were, apparently.”

“I acknowledge my defeat at Ba Sing Se. After 600 days away from home, my men were tired, and I was tired.” He yawns, and she can see the ploy before he goes through with it. “And I’m still tired.” He falls backwards off his animal, but is yanked up quickly. Her eyes focus on the sandal that slips off his feet.  _ There’s still a chance.  _

They ride on for a few more minutes, and Fei sees her chance. There’s a steep hill, and her horse is in the very back of the lineup. When the other animals are out of sight, she falls off the back, doing her best to cushion her landing with a burst of air. It doesn’t really work, but she doesn’t have time to check herself. Someone yells from behind her, and she takes off running, arms still tied behind her. The road rumbles beneath her feet, and she can’t tell if it’s coming from in front of her or behind her. 

“What are you doing here?” Prince Zuko asks her, coming up on his rhino. Fei slows to a stop, her bound hands unable to bend or sign. She looks around the ground, looking for a branch or even a sharp rock to cut the ropes. Her eyes fall on the sandal that Iroh dropped. She kicks it a few times, and Zuko slides off of his mount, picking it up. He holds it with his forefinger and thumb, giving it a delicate sniff. 

“Yeah, that’s Uncle Iroh.” He looks at Fei. “Where did they go?” She holds her bound wrists out to him. “Oh. Right. Um… I’m going to firebend now, okay?” Fei grimaces, but nods, closing her eyes, pushing her arms out even farther. A sharp heat burns near her wrists and  _ she’s screaming she’s begging she’s  _ it’s done. The scraps of rope fall to the ground, their edges singed. She rubs her raw wrists, and smiles at her Prince. The rhino sidles up next to them, and Zuko holds out a hand to help her up. So, she wouldn’t escape today. Maybe that’s better in the end. 

He climbs up behind her, his arms snaking around her waist to grab the reins. She holds out her hand, pointing along the path, and they take off. 

“The two of you are lucky I waited so long.” he says.

“ _ I was going to get you.”  _ the wind whispers. 

“You couldn’t if I was- oh. You would have gone all the way out to sea just for my uncle?” Fei looks behind her. 

_ “He would have done it for me.”  _ She’s a bit surprised that he doesn’t even let out an annoyed huff at her airbending, but he’s been more tolerant since she had spent the night with him.

“Yes, I guess he would.” They ride in silence, the rhino slow underneath them. “The Avatar!” he cries out, and Fei startles. Looking up, she realizes that, indeed, the Avatar’s air-bison is flying above them. She stays quiet, knowing this is Zuko’s decision. He shifts, following the beast’s track through the sky, but turns back to the path. They ride on. 

oOo

Zuko pulls hard on the reins, slowing them to a stop. Fei slips from the saddle, landing with a small  _ oomph.  _

“Wait here.” She lifts her hands to object, but he’s gone before she can say anything.  _ He’s right.  _ Her mind whispers.  _ you can’t fight, and you’re too small to be of any use in a physical fight.  _ The sounds of a fight filter through the trees, and she pets the rhino’s nose.  _ You can’t even look at a fire being bended without being an 11 year old again. You’ll train, you’ll learn, but you can’t fight right now.  _ She still can’t shake the feeling of abandonment. 

“Ah, Fei. I’m glad you stayed.” Iroh says when they come hurrying through the woods. She just bows. 

“What do you mean?” Zuko asks.

“Fei and I had a very interesting conversation by the hotsprings. You’d be surprised the truths you can unearth with a bit of hot water and steam.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters today 😼😼😼


	9. The Spirit World P2: Avatar Roku

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei pushes the limits

“Come on, I don’t want to lose the Avatar.” Zuko says. This time he doesn’t help Fei up to the saddle, and she looks furtively at him before aiding her climb with a burst of air. She sits in the front again, and feels less tense in the Prince’s embrace then she did before. The General was safe, and the Avatar was likely long gone, if he truly was on his bison when they saw it. 

The ride to the village was tinged with a bit of longing. If it hadn’t been for the Earth Kingdom soldiers, she would be there right now.  _ Or maybe you wouldn’t. The Avatar was there- he knows your face. Maybe you could have gone with him.  _ It was no use dwelling on what could have been.  _ If something’s meant to happen, it will happen,  _ her mother whispered. 

When they get to the village, the sun is low above the horizon, and Fei yawns, covering her hand with her mouth. The Prince dismounts and gives the reins to her. It’s the second time she’s been given a chance to run away since she had been kidnapped, but the thought never crossed her mind. Later she would chalk it up to her exhaustion, but even after that she would realize that she no longer needed to escape. 

Zuko steps in the path of an old man dressed in finer clothes than the rest of the village- likely the village leader- and pushes him back into his house. 

“Having trouble sleeping?” He knocks the man to the ground, and Fei sighs.  _ Just when I thought he had changed.  _ “Seen the Avatar lately?”

oOo

“We have to sail to the Fire Temple.” Zuko announces when they board the ship. Fei’s belongings were already packed and delivered to her room. 

“Sailing into Fire Nation waters… of all the foolish things you’ve done in your sixteen years, Prince Zuko, this is the most foolish!” General Iroh despairs. 

“I have no choice, Uncle!”  __

“Have you completely forgotten that the Fire Lord  _ banished  _ you?”  _ If he does get caught, what will happen to me? _

__ “I’m chasing the Avatar! My father will understand why I am returning home!” Fei watches their conversation, worried for her Prince. Who cares what happens to her, she’s an innocent servant. If his father did… that to him when he was thirteen, what would he do to a sixteen year old? 

“You give him too much credit. My brother is not the understanding type!” 

“There they are. Helmsman! Full steam ahead!” She sees the Avatar’s air-bson soaring through the sky, with a face poking over the side. Zuko must have given the workers some sign, because a fuming projectile is raised to the deck. Fei’s nose wrinkles, and Iroh fans himself. 

“Ugh, Prince Zuko, couldn’t you shoot them down with something more fragrant?” She clenches the rail tightly, turning away as he sets the mass ablaze. 

“On my mark! Fire!” Her attention is caught by Wang walking up next to her. 

“Hey!” He’s sweaty, and wearing a red jumpsuit she hasn’t seen before. She waves to the man, taking the welcome distraction from the fireballs flying over her head. “I didn’t see you before we left. I thought you might have run away, or something.” Fei tries to smile, but it turns into a grimace. A blockade of Fire Nation ships was closing in front of them. 

“A blockade.” Zuko says from behind her. 

“Technically, you are still in Earth Kingdom waters. Turn back now and they cannot arrest you.” 

“He’s not turning around.” She can hear the resolve in the Prince’s voice. 

“Please, Prince Zuko! If the Fire Nation captures you, there is nothing I can do! Do not follow the Avatar!” 

“I’m sorry, Uncle. Run the blockade!” 

“That’s my cue.” Wang says, and he sounds disappointed. Fei tries again at a smile, and thinks she succeeds. He perks up, and hurries off. She keeps her eyes on the other ships, and sees Commander Zhao at it’s helm.  _ No. _ She’d heard of his Agni Kai with Zuko, and knew how it ended. There would be no mercy. 

A burst of flames from Zhao’s ship arcs towards them, and Fei clenches her fists tightly. A hand comes down on her shoulder, and she jumps before realizing it’s the General’s. The fire keeps jumping around them, and Wang comes up from below-decks. 

“Prince Zuko! The engines are damaged! We need to stop and make repairs!”

“Do  _ not _ stop this ship!” he whirls to face the man. It’s because Zuko is facing away from the blockade that he doesn’t see the ball of flames headed straight for his head. 

Time seems to slow down for Fei. She throws her hands out, and a wall of air explodes from him, knocking everyone but the two of them over. Iroh braces himself on her shoulder, and Zuko turns to face her. 

“Why on earth would you do that?!” He yells. 

“Prince Zuko, she saved your life.”

“Well, now Zhao knows we have an airbender.” Fei can’t pay attention to the conversation. She sags with exhaustion, her largest display of bending taking its toll. General Iroh begins to lead her belowdecks. Fei shakes her head, clearing her mind, and brushes his hand off her shoulder, returning to the helm at Zuko’s side. 

“No, Fei, you need to go belowdecks.” Wang tells her, and she looks at him.  _ He’s speaking to me like I’m a child.  _

“ _ No.”  _ She shakes her head. 

“It’s dangerous up here.”  _ Right, like he can defend himself. I’m the best equipped person up here.  _ She closes her eyes in exasperation. 

_ “Leave me alone.”  _ the wind murmurs. 

“You’re being childish.” 

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Zuko snaps. 

“Yes, sir.” Wang hurries off, and Fei gives the prince a small smile. She focuses on the Avatar just in time to see him pass over the ships. 

“We’re on a collision course!” Iroh says, and Fei tenses again.  _ Don’t let anyone say life aboard the Prince’s ship is boring.  _

“We can make it!” He says, far more confident than she feels. They’re about to crash- and then Zhao cuts his engines. The small, burning ship sails smoothly between the larger ones, and Zuko bursts out, “What’s he up to, Uncle? Why didn’t Commander Zhao arrest me?”

“Because he wants to follow you. He knows you’ll lead him to the prize you’re bth after; the Avatar.” 

“If Zhao wants to follow a trail of smoke, then that’s exactly what I’ll let him do.” 

oOo

The Prince’s boat is lowered into the water slowly, on the side opposite of Zhao’s warships. He left them with a quiet, “Uncle, keep heading north. Zhao will follow the smoke trail, while I use it as cover.” 

Once the boat is out of sight, Fei nods to the General.  _ “If I don’t make it back-”  _ She starts to sign, but he puts his hands over hers. 

“You’ll make it back, even if I have to go in there and get you myself.” She smiles at the old man, ignoring the sting of being cut off so totally. With one more look at the rest of the crew, she bends over and dives off the side. 

The first few seconds under the water are disorienting, and she can’t quite tell which way is up, but she quickly airbends a bubble around her head. She doesn’t actually know how to swim, so she propels herself with jets of warm air. 

Soon she washes up onshore. Zuko is nowhere to be found, so she dries herself as best she can and takes off running for the temple. 

It takes all of her body weight for her to push the massive doors open, and Fei stops in her tracks when she sees the maze of hallways.  _ Spirits. More bending it is.  _ She closes her eyes and breathes in slowly. When she exhales, she can feel the breaths of every living thing in the temple. Her eyes fly open when she recognizes Zuko’s, and she’s off again. Fei’s feet are light on the ground, and she barely stops in time when she sees him crouched behind a pillar. His eyes widen in recognition, and she desperately pushes a finger against her mouth. 

_ “Backup.”  _ she mouths, and he rolls his eyes. Her eyes are caught by the fight behind him when a Sage yells, “Now, Aang!” 

Nothing happens. 

The Water Tribe girl- who’s name Fei can’t remember- yells “Aang! Now’s your chance!” 

Before anyone has a chance to do anything, Zuko steps out from behind the pillar and, Fei assumes, grabs Aang. “The Avatar is coming with me! Close the doors, quickly!” Suddenly, the boy breaks free, sending Zuko flying down the stairs. 

“Go!” The Water Tribe girl yells- Katara, she thinks- but Fei is too busy staring at the Prince lying at the bottom of the stairs. She hurries over to help him up, but he just hisses at her, 

“Go  _ do _ something!” She sighs, and holds out her hand to him.  _ Go do something _ . He grabs it reluctantly and stands, brushing himself off, before taking off up the stairs. Fei follows him, though his long legs pull ahead of her easily. 

When they make it to the top of the stairs, the door is closed, and Zuko growls in frustration. He and 4 of the Sages line up in a row, and blast fire into 5 notches in the door. Fei distracts herself by looking curiously at the boy- Sokka, she knows his face- and the girl. 

“Why isn’t it working, it’s sealed shut?” Zuko asks from behind her. 

“It must have been the light. Avatar Roku doesn’t want us inside.” 

“ _ Katara, I think that girl’s staring at us.”  _ Sokka whispers to his sister. 

“ _ That must be the airbender Aang told us about.”  _

“ _ WHAT?! I thought she was fake!”  _

__ _ “Sokka!”  _ The girl closes her eyes, and sighs carefully. “My name’s Katara, and this is my brother Sokka. Our friend Aang, the Avatar, told us about you.” Fei can sense the pride this girl has in knowing the Avatar, and she smiles, waving, but she starts when she hears Zhao’s voice. 

“What a moving and heartfelt performance. I’m certain the Fire Lord will understand, when you explain why you betrayed him.” She turns to look at the man, taking the cue to bow from the other Sages. 

“And Prince Zuko. It was a noble effort, but your little smokescreen didn’t work.” A guard seizes the Prince, and another comes over and takes Fei’s right arm gently in his. She casts a glance backwards, to the Water Tribe siblings. They looked a bit worried, but mostly glad.  _ Of course they would be. It’s not like Zuko has ever treated them with anything other than violence and fear in mind.  _ “Two traitors in one day, the Fire Lord  _ will _ be pleased.” 

“You’re too late, Zhao! The Avatar’s inside and the doors are sealed.” Zuko snaps.

“No matter.” The Commander says lazily. “Sooner or later, he has to come out.” Someone comes forward to wrap chains around Zuko, and Fei panics. She wrenches her arm away from the guard holding her, and when he reaches for her again she kicks him, hard. 

“Hey, we better tie this one up too.” he calls to Zhao.

So that’s how she winds up strapped to a pillar with Zuko. 

“Not very good backup. Now we’re just tied here together!” He says, and she sighs, her fingers searching for any bit of chain with a bit of slack. When she finds it, she holds it tightly, bringing the air near it to freezing temperatures.

“When those doors open, unleash all your firepower!” Zhao yells, and the chain snaps in Fei’s grasp. She moves to the next closest row, continuing up until it’s all broken. She’s about to finish, when the door glows and begins to unlock. Fei clenches her eyes closed, protecting them from the glare. When it fades, she opens them again and sees a pair of eyes- a pair much higher then would be on a twelve year old boy.  _ Roku.  _

He takes the blasts from the assembled guards and sends it outward, dissolving their chains.  _ Oh, excellent. I did all that bending for nothing,  _ she forces herself to think about, rather then the flames so close to her throat. 

With a grunt, Zuko takes her hand and runs towards the door.  _ Right. _ They hurry, avoiding falling pillars and pockets of lava. The heat and smoke and fear starts to eat away at Fei, but she grasps her Prince’s hand tightly and just focuses on putting one foot in front of another. 

The pair makes it to his boat with little trouble, and Zuko nearly tosses her in, before pushing it into the water. He runs and jumps in, rocking the small vessel, but Fei just sighs in relief. 

“I guess I did need backup.” She looks at Zuko, confused, but she doesn’t have the energy to bend. “What I mean is… I would have gone after the Avatar if it weren’t for you.” She smiles at him, and lets out an enormous yawn. “Yeah, I guess you’ve had a long day. I’ll wake you up when we get back to the ship.” Fei falls asleep before he says anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reach me on instagram @/_girls.in.bikinis._, comments and kudos keep me motivated. take ur meds and drink some water i love you!!


	10. The Waterbending Scroll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei is the Avatar

Fei has completely quit communication with the rest of the crew. She stays in her room and only ever talks to General Iroh, and Prince Zuko on occasion. It’s boring and lonely, but not far from the way she used to act.

She sits on a pillow, offhandedly watching the Prince train, but that’s not what she’s seeing. She’s seeing Katara and Sokka, the kind way the girl had introduced herself to Fei. What would it have been like if she had not taken Zuko’s hand- if she had instead followed them? Where would she be?

The boat lurches, and she tumbles off her pillow.

“Someone’s changing our course!” Zuko yells, glaring at the control tower. Fei pulls herself to her feet, rubbing her sore knee. He strides towards the door to the tower, and she sighs, following him. 

“What is the meaning of this mutiny! No one told you to change course!”  _ Mutiny, really?  _

“Actually, someone did. I assure you, it is a matter of utmost importance, Prince Zuko.” General Iroh strokes his beard, tugging at it gently. 

“Is it something to do with the Avatar?” 

“Even more urgent. It seems I- I have lost my lotus tile.” 

“Lotus tile?” The Prince asks. 

“For my Pai Sho game. Most people think the lotus tile insignificant, but it is essential for the unusual strategy that I employ.” Fei grits her teeth in anticipation for Zuko’s temper, as he says,

“You’ve changed our course for a stupid lotus tile?”

“See, you, like most people, underestimate its value. Just give me ten minutes to check the merchants at this port of call. Hopefully, they will have the lotus tile in stock and I can get on with my life.” Just as Fei was expecting, Zuko lets out a roar, and a jet of fire arcs towards the ceiling. “I’m lucky to have such an understanding nephew.” 

oOo

“I’ve checked all the shops on this pier. Not a lotus tile in the entire marketplace.” Zuko groans in frustration at his Uncle’s words.

“It’s good to know this trip was a complete waste of time for  _ everyone!”  _ A white dress on a display in front of a ship nearby catches Fei’s eye. 

“Quite the contrary. I always say, the only thing better than finding something you are looking for, is finding something you weren’t looking for at a great bargain!” A crew member walks by playing a tsungi horn, and Fei’s heart aches at the music. Work and thoughts of the Avatar have kept the memories of music at bay, but sometimes it feels like the need to sing will swallow her whole being. 

“You bought a tsungi horn?” 

“For music night on the ship.” Fei didn’t even know there was a music night. “Now, if we only had some woodwinds.” He points towards the ship that the white dress was displayed on. “Oh, this place looks promising.” They walk up the gangplank, and she can’t help herself from taking the dress off the rack. 

“Oh! That is handsome. Wouldn’t it look magnificent in the galley?” Iroh inspects a small monkey statue.

“We lost the Water Tribe girl and the little bald monk she was traveling with.” A man she doesn’t know says from behind her. 

“This monk, did he have an arrow on his head?” 

“Yeah, he did. What’s it to you?” 

“Uncle, you and Fei wait outside. I’ll be out in a moment.” She carefully drapes the dress back where she found it, and follows General Iroh out of the ship. 

They wait on the dock for a few minutes, watching the bustle of the market. 

“I do wish you would join us for music night, Fei.” She looks at the old man in confusion, absentmindedly pressing a hand to the hollow of her throat.

_ “Didn’t know there was one.”  _ she signs. 

“Didn’t- but I could have sworn-” He’s cut off by the Prince saying, 

“Uncle, this is the captain of the fine vessel we were just aboard. We’re going to help him get back some of his stolen merchandise.” 

“You mean the-” Fei stomps, hard, on the General's foot, and she’s not sure if she does it for Aang’s benefit or Zuko’s. “-the thief.” The captain gives the two of them a strange look, but her skirts hid the movement well.

“Yes. The  _ thief.”  _

__ “Ah, well. Kids these days.” Iroh sighs. 

oOo

When they get back to their ship, they’re led belowdecks to a smaller boat that Fei didn’t even know existed.  _ Three years and I didn’t know about this?  _ Wang is near the boat, readying it for departure, and she realizes that she’s not entirely sure what he does. He was a chef at one point, she knows that much- he had told her the Avatar was on Kyoshi Island- and he was an engineer when they were in the fight with Zhao. 

“Are you going with them?” He asks her. She nods absently, watching the pirate captain carefully. “I mean,” He laughs. “Why?” Her head turns to him sharply. “It’s not like the Prince will need tea while he’s tracking- though I guess that fight on the way to the Fire Temple changes things. You never told me you were an airbender.” 

“ _ I know.”  _ She signs.  _ Oh, spirits, now everyone aboard this ship knows I’m an airbender. They already don’t like me- this is awful.  _ These are the thoughts that accompany her onto the boat, and down the river. The pirate ship follows them, gliding through the smooth water. 

“Shouldn’t we stop to search the woods?” The captain asks.

“We don’t need to stop. They stole a waterbending scroll, right?” Zuko asks. The captain nods. “Then they’ll be on the water.” They sail on in silence for a few more minutes, until a voice drifts out from the banks. 

“Okay Katara, shift your weight through the stances.”  _ Katara _ . The boats dock on the sandy shore, and everyone disembarks. The captain sends one of his men after the girl, and the Prince follows him. There’s a quiet tussle behind the bushes and she cries out, “No! Let go of me!” 

“I’ll save you from the pirates.” Zuko says, and it doesn’t take long for him to drag her to the waiting pirates. “You- tie her up.” He tells Fei, passing her a coil of rope.

“No- You don’t have to do this. We can take them.” Katara tries reasoning, but Fei knows they won’t be able to. There are two firebenders in the crowd, and the two of them are hardly  _ masters  _ of their element.

_ “Sorry.”  _ The wind murmurs as she ties the knot. 

“Tell me where he is and I won’t hurt you or your brother.” Zuko says imperiously. 

“Go jump in the river!” 

“Try to understand. I need to capture him to restore something I’ve lost; my honor. Perhaps in exchange I can restore something you’ve lost.” He pulls out the choker from his sleeve. 

“My mother’s necklace! How did you get that?”

“I didn’t steal it, if that’s what you’re wondering.  _ Tell me _ where he is.” He points at her, his skin practically glowing in the moonlight.

“No!” She spits, and Fei has to respect her courage.

“Enough of this necklace garbage. You promised a scroll!” The captain yells. 

“I wonder how much this is worth…” He holds the parchment over a flame in his hand, and Katara lets out a gasp. “A lot, apparently. Now, you help me find what I want, and you’ll get this back. Everyone goes home happy. Search the woods for the boy and meet back here!” 

“Fine.” the captain says. They disperse, and Katara turns back desperately t Fei.

“Come on! Are you really going to turn your back on the last airbender?” 

“ _ I don’t have a choice.”  _

“Yes you do!” 

“ _ You don’t get it.”  _ She thinks of Zuko, the sadness in his voice when he thought she was leaving him. 

“I do! My mother-”

“I’ve got him!” A pirate’s voice rings out, and Katara lets out a cry. 

“No!” she says, and Fei turns away, shame reddening her face.  _ You’re never allowed to complain about being trapped again.  _

“Nice work.” the Prince even sounds a bit impressed as they tie up Sokka and Aang. 

“Aang, this is all  _ my  _ fault.” 

“No, Katara, it isn’t.” 

“Yeah, it kind of is.” General Iroh says. 

“Give the boy to me.” Zuko turns to the pirates.

“ _ You _ give  _ us  _ the scroll.” The captain sneers. 

“You’re really going to and over  _ the Avatar _ for a stupid piece of parchement?” Sokka asks. 

“Don’t listen to him. He’s trying to turn us against each other!”  _ Oh, dear. _

“Your friend is the Avatar?” The captain asks Sokka. 

“Sure is, and I’ll bet he’ll fetch a lot more on the black market than that fancy scroll.”

“Shut your mouth, you Water Tribe peasant!” 

“Yeah, Sokka, you really should shut your mouth.” Aang’s brow furrows.

“I’m just sayin’, it’s bad business sense. Think how much the Fire Lord would pay for the Avatar. You guys would be set for life.”

“Keep the scroll; we can buy a hundred with the reward we’ll get for the kid.” They turn to go, and Zuko grabs Fei’s arm.

“That would be true…  _ if  _ you had the Avatar.”  _ What?  _ Aang and Sokka look at them, confused, as Zuko continues. “That’s right. The boy you have is not the Avatar.” 

“What, you’re telling me that girl is the Avatar? The master of all four elements?” 

“Well, she’s only learning one right now. Show him.” He pushed her gently forwards, keeping a hand on her shoulder. With a wave of Fei’s hand, the wind dances around them, lifting hats and sending leaves whirling. 

“I knew it!” Aang’s voice is overjoyed. 

“No- he’s lying! Aang here is the Avatar! He even has the… arrow…” Sokka tries again, but the pirate captain lazily waves his hand. 

“It’s no matter. We’ll take both.” Before she can figure out what he means, she’s pressed against Zuko’s chest, his arms crossed over her chest as he shields her. Her squirming is stopped by a smoke bomb exploding just inches from where she was standing. He shoves her, much more violently than before, out of the smoke, where she coughs and retches. She thought food was bad, but smoke on her scarred throat was absolute hell. 

Fei hurries towards Katara when Zuko is distracted by the pirate captain. Her hands scramble over the knot, shaking, as she continues to cough. 

“Come with us. Aang can teach you airbending!” Fei shakes her head at the younger girl’s words. 

“ _ I can’t.”  _ The wind whispers, and even it sounds mournful. 

“Either way, we’ll save a place for you. Come when you’re ready.” Fei doesn’t have time to respond before the girl is running off. She ducks out of an arm that wraps around her shoulders, kicking at the shins of the man who tried to grab her. Another spun her by one shoulder, ready to chain her hands, but she forces him to the ground with a gust of wind. Keeping one eye on her assailants and one on Zuko’s fight, she swerves and ducks as needed, sending air to knock one man down and sending another chasing after his sword. 

“Are you so busy fighting you cannot see your own ship has set sail?” Iroh’s voice rings out, bringing everyone’s fighting to a standstill.

“We have no time for your proverbs, Uncle!” The prince huffs, staying in a poised fighting position.

“It’s no proverb!” the General points to the pirate ship, floating down the river. Fei can see Katara and Aang on the deck, and smiles to herself.

“Bleeding hog monkeys!” 

__ Zuko lets out a laugh and Fei is distracted for a minute by how uncaring it is. It’s young, it’s joyful, it’s  _ beautiful.  _ She dragged out of her stupor by him crying out, “Hey! That’s  _ my _ boat!”, and he takes off running down the riverbank.

“Maybe it should be a proverb…” She doesn’t bother looking at the old man as she dashed after the Prince. 

“Come on, Uncle!” Zuko says, turning back towards them and reaching for Fei. She can’t help but smile as their hands meet. They leap over rocks and branches, but come sliding to a halt when they reach a cliff. 

“My boat!” Zuko moans, watching it shatter on the rocks at the base of the waterfall. Iroh comes puffing up behind them, chuckling.

“Prince Zuko, you’re really going to get a kick out of this. That lotus tile was in my sleeve the whole time!” The Prince snatches it and throws it down the waterfall, but as they turn to leave, Fei airbends it into her hand, turning it over in her palm. It was of a much higher quality than the rest of Iroh’s set, made of a white wood painted red, with gold inlays. She slips it into the General’s hand, wondering what need he would have of such a piece.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> taylor swift's new album is an absolute BANGER!! stream betty 2020  
> also on my instagram (@/_girls.in.bikinis._) im gonna start posting polls and shit for things you all would like to see and also just talk about shit it's kind of a spam djdjds  
> comments and kudos keep me motivated!! drink some water and take your meds, i love you!!


	11. Jet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei is courted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: talks about weight a little bit and fei almost has a panic attack

A day off. Fei hasn’t had one of those in ages, certainly not since Aang came back. Where would she go? What would she do?

The answer to that question came quicker than she expected. Almost as soon as she stepped out of her room in the morning, Wang ambushed her in the hallway. 

“Hey! I figured that because we have a day off, we could maybe spend some time together? See the sights?” Fei smiles at the man, but shakes her head. 

‘“ _I want to see the sights on my own.”_ she signs.

“Come on, it’ll be fun!” 

_“No, thank you.”_

“After all I’ve done for you?” She stops, turning to the man. 

“ _Fine. Let’s go.”_

“Good. I thought I was going to have to report your airbending to the Fire Lord.” Fei laughs at his joke, excited for the new day ahead of her. She’s never had anyone interested in her the way Wang seems to be, and it feels nice to have that attention in her life. She ignores the voice in the back of her head that sounds like her Prince’s.

“Where should we go first?” He asks her, sounding just as excited as she is. Her shoes lift off the ground in a twirl as they step off the boat, and she shrugs. 

“Well, I came here once, before this wild quest of the Prince’s. There was this amazing soup place, come on!” _Soup. Oh no._

Of all the foods and drinks that hurt her throat, soup is the worst. A painful mix of steaming liquid and things to be chewed, it was an awful experience all around.

She smiles at Wang, and follows close behind him down the crowded streets.It feels a bit like the buildings are closing in on her, and her breathing starts to pick up. _I shouldn’t be here. I should be back on the ship. What if someone kidnaps me? What will I do then?_ She suddenly feels panicky and alone, and reaches out for Wang’s arm only to realize that he had disappeared in the crowd. _This is very bad._ There’s a green bench up ahead, and Fei sits down on it, trying to keep her breathing under control. She would get like this as a child, but ever since she had started working on the Prince’s ship, she’d felt- well, safe. It wasn’t a safe life, but she herself had never been in danger. _Oh, no. What if Wang reports me to the Fire Lord?_ Her breathing pick up again, and she would have shrieked when a hand landed on her shoulder if she could.

“Hey. You okay?” A voice asks, and Fei’s shocked to realize it’s a girl. She nods half heartedly, and the girl sits next to her. “I know, this city can be kind of overwhelming. You know, when I first moved here, I got so lost I had to pay an old man for information.” Fei takes a long breath, and smiles at the girl. 

“What’s your name?” The girl asks, and Fei blanches. “Oh, you can’t talk, can you? I knew a girl who was mute in my hometown. No worries, I probably talk enough for the both of us. My name’s Ai. We’re going to have so much fun together, come on!” As they hurry down the street, Fei almost thinks she hears someone calling her name. 

“Now, this is my favorite place in the whole city. It’s a flower store, but they specialize in rare varieties. Here’s an orchid-rose… oh! And here’s a book for pressing them. Here’s my favorite flower- a lavender-crocus. Here, smell it- isn’t it nice? I’ll get you one that you can grow in your house. Or, boat,” Air chatters on as they leave. “You work for the Fire Nation, right? I’m not their biggest fan, but it’s not like you’ve done anything. Um, don’t tell them I said anything. Isn’t Azula so pretty?” Fei’s throat clenches at the mention of the crown princess, but she just smiles along, though she thinks Ai is much prettier than Azula. 

“Come on, do you want to have lunch back at my place? I can show you how to care for your flower.” Fei’s arms tighten around the pot, and she nods. _Think. When was the last time you talked to a girl? Excluding Katara, of course._ They cut through less crowded streets to a small apartment building, where Ai has to sort through her keys to find the right one. 

“Sorry about that, I have the keys to all of my friends' apartments. I should really sort them, huh? Well, nothing to do about that now. You’re in luck, I have stuff for lunch. Oh, you can just set that down on the counter. This is so much fun!” Fei walks around to the kitchen, pulling a large ladle from a drawer to retrieve the dumplings from a large pot, when Ai says, “Oh, you don’t have to do that. You’re my guest! I haven’t talked to someone my age in for- _ever._ Don’t look at me like that! I have friends, but they’re all from work, and they’re all, like, twenty five. I don’t know how I work there either, I’m only fifteen, but I mean you work for the Fire Nation .Funny, I always thought the Earth Kingdom was more progressive. Maybe it’s just because you work for the crown. Well, eat up! You’re so skinny. Don’t- don’t take that the wrong way, though, you’re so pretty.” Fei looks up at Ai’s words. _Pretty?_ A mirror hangs above Ai’s basin, and she looks at it. She’s never really thought of herself as pretty. Not that she thought of herself as ugly, she just… didn’t think of herself. 

After the meal, they sit on Ai’s balcony. In the far distance, Fei can see Prince Zuko’s boat, and she looks away quickly, resting her gaze on Ai’s animated face. _Am I allowed to look at her like this?_

“Is that where you work?” Fei nods. “So… what’s the deal with the Prince? I’ve heard he has this scar on his eye- oh, my god. Did he do that to your mouth?” Just as Fei hadn’t thought of herself as ugly, she hadn’t thought the scar on her lips was noticeable. Her hand flies to her face, fingers resting on the raised skin. “Oh, I only noticed it while you were eating. So… did he?” Ai asks, and Fei shakes her head. “Ah, well. I have work soon, you should probably head back to your boat. I can walk you? Don’t forget your flower!” 

In the glow of the sun, Fei returns to her boat, waving to Ai. The General greets her, smiling.

“Ah, Fei. I’m glad you had a good time. I have to admit, I was a bit worried, especially when that boy came aboard saying you left him. “

“ _Wang?”_ She finger-spells, not having given him a sign. Iroh shrugs, and then smiles at someone behind her. 

“At last, Prince Zuko. Did you not hear me asking if you wanted to play Pai Sho?”

“I heard you.” Fei turns to the Prince, bowing as much as she can with her flower in her hand. “Who gave that to you?” Before she can decide how to respond to Zuko’s question, Wang throws an arm around her shoulder. 

“I did.”

“But, I thought you said she left you in the middle of the street.” Iroh asks. 

“After I gave her the flower.” He retorts, far more sharply than he should to both his elder and his authority. She shrugs his arm off of her shoulders, then shakes her head, thinking of Ai’s beautiful green eyes. 

“It seems that she disagrees with you.” Zuko says, relishing how uncomfortable Wang is. “Maybe you should go before she does anything else.” The older man scoffed as he walked away, muttering about how entitled the Prince was. 

“Really, a man of such age should not be talking to you in such a way.” Iroh says, stroking her beard. Over the day, Fei had begun to realize he was right. Wang was, what, thirty? When she had gotten attention from Ai it had felt _good._ Ai was pretty, and funny, and the same age as Fei. Why was an adult trying to spend the day with her? She shook her head, vowing that she wouldn’t talk to Wang anymore.

Prince Zuko noticed her awkwardly shifting the pot in her hands, and took it gently. 

“I can help you with that. Do you… like flowers?” He asked tentatively, and wholly out of character. She smiled at the boy, and nodded as they walked down the hall to her room. General Iroh chucked behind them, and the sun set over the water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !! this is very important !! i'm not calling fei skinny to make her seem pretty!!!! anyone of any size can be pretty, she's just unhealthily skinny because it hurts to eat, and that stunted her growth. next chapter she also has some comments about her weight but know that i do not think that!!! i love all of you so so much you're beautiful no matter your weight!!!!! just wanted to make sure you all know this uwu  
> also i have been writing this under the assumption that Fei is the only female on the ship bc i'm pretty sure there isn't any in canon? i could be wrong but that's where this is coming from.  
> this is rly long so i'll cut it off here, but you can find me at @/_girls.in.bikinis._ on instagram, comments and kudos keep me motivated, and drink water/take your meds!!  
> edit 9/26/20: why tf did i have them eat SANDWICHES what. anyways i changed it haha hope this is more acccurate


	12. The Great Divide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei remembers

The moonlight makes a small circle on Fei’s floor as she carefully removes the pin from her breast and unlaces her corset. The day had been dull, and yet Fei had still been on edge. Ever since she came back from the Earth Kingdom town, she had been paranoid that Wang would report her to the Fire Lord- or worse, Azula. Lord Ozai had to abide by some form of diplomacy- though, his grandfather  _ did _ slaughter all of her people, and the “ _ times have changed” _ argument she kept repeating to herself wasn’t quite working. 

She slipped her nightgown over her body, inspecting herself carefully in the mirror. Ai’s words kept repeating in her mind- “ _ you’re so pretty.”  _ Was she pretty? 

_ Yes _ , she decided,  _ I am. I’m far too skinny and far too short, but I’m pretty _ . Her face was rounder than most Fire Nation girls, a side effect of her lineage, but it’s almost hypnotizing. As she gazes into the looking glass, her eyes fall on the empty basin of water below it. Her body heaves in a sigh as she takes the heavy ceramic dish from its resting place. Fei didn’t want to traverse the ship in only her nightgown, but the idea of waking with nothing to clean herself made her skin crawl.

It was an eerie walk down the dimly lit hallways, but she made it just the same, focusing only on her goal and ignoring the prying eyes from behind closed doors. She feels her body freeze as a noise pricks her ears- a melody.  _ Music.  _ She shakes it off, not wanting to make herself look like more of a fool then she already did. 

When Fei makes it to the kitchen, she finds it empty. Pushing the basin onto a table, she looks around, searching for any hint of where the others had gone. Of course, the kitchen crew wasn’t only expected to work all day, but there was usually someone to- well, refill empty basins, or brew a pot of tea for the General. She suddenly remembers the music she heard earlier, and with a huff, Fei makes up her mind. 

_ I’m going to find where that music came from. _ At the very least, she would find a spirit haunting the ship, and then maybe there would be someone to talk to. 

Her feet pad lightly on the wooden floor of the boat. The music returns, though it’s a boisterous sea shanty now. The realization dawns on her just as she peers through the door leading to the deck. 

The crew sits in a circle around a carefully attended fire, playing instruments.  _ Music night.  _ It had been so long since she had heard a song, and longer since she made one of her own. Fei’s eyes fill with tears and she sinks to the ground behind the door, out of sight. Her head rests on her arms as tears pour down her face. 

Footsteps thud down the hallway towards her, but she doesn’t stand up. The rest of the crew thought badly enough of her as is, who cares if they see her crying in her nightgown while the rest sing about their loves on land.  _ Okay, maybe I do care a little bit.  _ Whoever was walking down the hallway sinks to sit next to her. 

“They didn’t tell me about it either.” Fei lets out a choking little gasp as she realizes who’s sitting next to her. 

The Prince- _ because honestly, who else would it be?- _ is sitting beside her, eyes trained intently on her face, as if he’s gauging her reaction. She pushes herself to her feet and brushes off the front of her gown, before extending a hand to help him up. His calloused hand is rough against her soft one, but she doesn’t pull away.

They stand awkwardly in the hallway for a few minutes, but after the sea shanty in the next room winds down, Fei takes the Prince’s hand once more, leading him to her room. When the door closes behind them, Zuko finally speaks up.

“It’s so… small in here.” He tells her, and Fei smiles. 

“ _ Thank you?”  _ The wind murmurs. She can’t see it in the darkness of her room, but the boy’s face blushes red. 

“I like it! I’m just… I guess I never realized. I never even thought about where you guys sleep. This is coming out wrong, I-“ She squeezes his hand- which, she realizes, is still in hers- and 

_ “Were you really the one who saved me?”  _ Fei asks the question that has been plaguing her since his drunken monologue. The idea of a 12 year old Zuko-  _ still so young _ \- running from an open door to stop his sister from hurting her filled her with an uncomfortable mix of pleasure and guilt.  _ I should have known that the Princess’s anger towards him wasn’t simple jealousy.  _

“Yeah, that was me.” He scratches behind his neck, face still red. 

“ _ You liked my singing?”  _

“I used to listen to it. You would always be outside during my history class. Azula was usually there too, but she said she had a headache that day.” For the first time, Fei allows herself to remember the lullaby she was singing, not just the burning pain that ate her up. 

_ Rest your head,  _

_ Rest your head, my child,  _

_ For the darkness cannot find you here _

_ Rest your head,  _

_ Rest your head, my child, _

_ And let the wind rock you to sleep _

_ Rest your head, _

_ Rest your weary head,  _

_ For I will be here when you wake.  _

Nine lines. Forty-six words. And yet, the Princess had heard her before she got a chance to finish it. There was no erasing what she’d lost, but hearing the Prince tell his story eased her ache.

“I was looking out the window- I think I was,” He lets out a little laugh, “I think I was watching the turtleducks- and I saw you sitting by the path, waiting for your father. I knew you didn’t see Azula, but she saw you. My tutor never came back after I ran out of class that day, and I never asked what happened. I didn’t want to know.” The clouds shift outside, and Fei can see his face. Zuko’s gold eyes are shiny, and she can’t tell if it’s a trick of the light or tears.  _ He’s so beautiful,  _ she thinks to herself.

_ “Thank you.”  _ The wind whispers, and she finally notices how close they are.  _ If I were on my tiptoes, we’d be kissing.  _ Fei thinks she might act on it, do what she couldn’t in the dining hall, but the door bangs open just as it did last time. And, just as last time, General Iroh stands in the door. 

“Prince Zuko! We need to talk. Fei, if you would.” She walks quietly out of her room, ignoring the fact that  _ it’s  _ my  _ room,  _ and waits in the hallway. This time, however, she doesn’t obey the unspoken rule of serving the Fire Lord. She twirls her wrist, sending the conversation to her ears. They’re almost too quiet, but she grits her teeth and concentrates. 

“What did I tell you! You can’t act that way with a servant!” The General hisses.

“Why? Because she’s lower class?” She can tell he thinks he’s stumped his uncle, but Iroh comes back with a sharp retort.

“No. Because the others are  _ tormenting _ her. You remember the last time I spoke to you about this? That crash was because Fei  _ dropped our food,  _ the others were treating her so badly. They think the two of you did… I’m not going to say it. Being the Fire Prince comes with privilege, and you have to be careful. I know she’s enjoyable,”  _ The General thinks I’m enjoyable? The General thinks that Zuko thinks I’m enjoyable?  _ “But you have to think through your actions! How do you expect to rule if you bed every woman you wish?” She starts out of her stupor at the General’s words.  _ He doesn’t believe us. He truly thinks we-  _ Fei doesn’t inspect that thought any further, she simply lets the soul of her ancestor’s air-temple take over, and she runs from her problems. 

Feet hitting wood hard, she races down the hallway and onto the deck. The moon that had so recently lit up her Prince’s face glares down at her, as if judging her the same way everyone else was.  _ How ironic. They all think we lay together, and so now he’s the only one I can confide in.  _ Except she can’t confide in him. She can’t confide in anyone. She’s thousands of miles away from her home, and likely even farther from the Avatar.  _ I’ve never even held a proper conversation with them, and yet I would give anything to be with them right now.  _ She can imagine Katara wrapping a blanket around her shoulders, Sokka- well, she doesn’t know much about the Water Tribe boy, only that he didn’t actually think she was real, but he seemed much kinder then the others on this ship.  _ And Aang.  _ The last airbender. What could she learn from him?

The waves knock against the ship, and Fei is reminded that she  _ doesn’t  _ have a blanket around her shoulders, and she  _ doesn’t  _ have the Avatar to teach her airbending. All she has is herself, and Ai’s lavender-crocus, and that is enough. It has to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like last chapter, fei being skinny and her comments abt it are her personal issues and not my personal beliefs i love you and so would fei especially if you're trying to wipe out your race JDJDDBSB  
> i've also realized that i just exist as a shapeless entity to some of you so i will try to get a better posting schedule!! from now on i'll be posting the new chapter at 5:30 CST and i will stop repping my instagram just remember you can find it on most of the old chapters. comments and kudos keep me motivated!! drink some water and take your meds :)  
> also i was rereading old chapters and i realized that Fei is a chinese name bc i used to think airbenders were based off chinese monks, but they're based off of tibetan monks. that's on me for not doing research. i'm trying to keep this as accurate as possible so pls call me out on my bs


	13. The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei forgives and forgets

The next day is sunny and bright, a direct opposite to Fei’s mood. She stands on the deck, ignoring the stares from the other workers. The Prince looks out of a spyglass, scanning the horizon for any sign of a flying bison. Something about the atmosphere sets her on edge, making her want to be on solid ground.  _ The weather is fine. You’re just upset.  _ She assured herself, to no avail. When the General speaks up, it only convinces Fei further that they need to dock.

“There’s a storm coming. A big one.” He tells his nephew. Iroh had tried to speak to her, to apologize for barging into her rooms and making her leave, but she had just looked away. 

“You’re out of your mind, Uncle. The weather’s perfect. There’s not a cloud in sight.” Zuko snapped. Fei wished she could say he was upset for what Iroh thought they were doing, but she knew the Prince’s anger was purely self-centered. 

“A storm is approaching from the north. I suggest we alter our course and head southwest.” In her bones, Fei knew the old man was right. If she concentrated, she could feel the wind picking up, clouds moving towards them, but she didn’t do anything. Who was she to bother the  _ Prince  _ with something so trivial? 

“We know the Avatar is traveling northward, so we will do the same.” Prince Zuko points to the north briefly as he steps towards his uncle. 

“Prince Zuko, consider the safety of the crew!” Iroh demands. She couldn’t help but be angered by the General’s statement. He didn’t care about  _ her  _ safety last night, only that he needed to teach his nephew not to interact with those below his social level. 

“The safety of the crew doesn’t matter!” Fei’s attention is caught by Lieutenant Jee walking onto the main deck. Zuko turns to the man, who raises an eyebrow. “Finding the Avatar is far more important than any individual’s safety!” The Prince stalks off, and Fei follows him without thinking.  _ Iroh can handle being without me to wait on his every need.  _

oOo

Hours later, Zuko returns to the deck of the ship. His time was spent mapping out their route. Fei had stood in the corner, watching him concentrate over the parchment, feeling too close and miles apart from the man. 

“Looks like your uncle was right about the storm after all.” Jee taunts, referencing the dark clouds crawling across the sky. Fei stands with her back to the wall, watching the interaction with interest.

“Lucky guess.” The General says pleasantly, clearly proud of himself. 

“Lieutenant!” Zuko whirls on the man, enraged. “You’d better learn some respect, or I will teach it to you.” 

“What do you know about respect?” Fei’s stomach clenches. “The way you talk to everyone around here, from your hard-working crew to your esteemed uncle, shows you know nothing about respect.” Jee looks at Fei, eyes hard. “You don’t care about anyone but yourself! Then again, what should I expect from a  _ spoiled prince _ .” Zuko turns, swinging his arm wide as if to firebend. Fei starts forwards, not quite sure what she’s going to do.

“Easy now.” Iroh says as the men block each other’s blow. “Enough! We’re all a bit tired from being at sea so long. I’m sure that after a bowl of noodles, everyone will feel much better.”  _ And who will have to serve you those noodles?  _ Her mind hisses with anger at the General.  _ He has the privilege of talking, and yet still can’t think through how his words will be received.  _

“I don’t need your help keeping order on my ship.” Zuko spits at Iroh. The older man tries to lay a hand on his shoulder, but the Prince shrugs it off, making his way back belowdecks. “And I don’t need  _ you.”  _ He calls over his shoulder to Fei, effectively dismissing her. She stops in her tracks, unsure what to do.  _ I don’t want to serve Iroh, and the crew is- well, I don’t suppose I have any choice. _

__ She enters the break room a few minutes after Jee. Those few minutes were spent with her hand on the knob, debating if _ maybe it would be better to retire to my chambers _ and yet, she enters, and all eyes are on her. Fei’s not quite sure what they think of her- whether they still believe the rumors, or if they’re just using them as an excuse to be rude.

She sits in a corner, curling her legs under her. In a few tense moments, the group’s attention is turned back to Lieutenant Jee.

“I’m sick of taking his orders! I’m sick of chasing his Avatar! I mean, who does Zuko think he is?”  _ Ah. So that’s why they were all so defensive when I walked in.  _ From her vantage in the corner, she can see the General walk in.

“Do you really want to know?” He asks.

“General Iroh. We were just-” Jee stands at his voice, trying to explain himself.

__ “It’s okay. May I join you?” 

“Of course, sir.” Iroh sits down, rubbing his beard. 

“Try to understand. My nephew is a complicated young man. He has been through much. It all started when a guard wouldn’t let him into a war meeting. 

I allowed him to enter, telling him not to speak up- even back then, he often wouldn’t think before he spoke. General Bujing had a plan to take down Ba Sing Se, a plan that used an untrained division as bait to distract the earthbenders, while a stronger division would take them down.

My nephew interrupted the presentation, telling Bujing that he couldn’t sacrifice a young division that loves and defends our nation.

Zuko was right, you see, but it was not his place to speak out. And there were dire consequences.” Iroh lowers his head- in sadness, in shame for not protecting the young boy, Fei can’t tell. “After Zuko’s outburst in the meeting, the Fire Lord became very angry with him. He said the challenge against the general was an act of complete disrespect! And there was only one way to resolve this.” 

“Agni Kai. A fire duel.” Jee’s voice is heavy. 

“That’s right. Zuko looked upon the old general he had insulted and declared that he was not afraid. But Zuko misunderstood. When he turned to face his opponent, he was surprised to see that it was not the general. Zuko had spoken out against the general’s plan, but by doing so. In the Fire Lord’s war room, it was the Fire Lord whom he had disrespected. Zuko would have to duel his own father.”

_ Fei, unlike most of those who worked as servants under the crown, attended the Agni Kai between the Fire Lord and his son. It had been strange, to be among the highest ranking people in her nation, and having the princess there had not helped in the least.  _

__ _ Princess Azula and General Iroh had been across the platform from the young girl, and she had been avoiding Azula’s gaze at all cost- not for the princess’s lack of trying In the minutes leading up to the fight, Azula had been trying to catch the 12 year old’s gaze.  _

__ _ Fei had been distracted from her tormentor’s taunts when the prince had walked out onto the platform. She didn’t know much about the boy, had only heard rumors that his sister would make a better leader than him. She knew she shouldn’t like him, that his lack of talent in firebending would make him a poor Fire Lord, but she herself was supposed to be a firebender, bur wasn't. _

__ _ Her thoughts on the prince were abandoned when she saw Lord Ozai on the other end of the platform. Fei had never seen the Fire Lord bend, but she had started noticing the way her chest would tighten and her throat would burn when she saw firebending- and yet, she also could feel Azula’s hawk eyes flicking between her and the fight, and knew that if she took her eyes off of the Agni Kai it would be noted and she would be punished.  _

__ _ “Please, Father, I only had the Fire Nation’s best interest at heart. I’m sorry I spoke out of turn!” Prince Zuko lowered his head.  _

__ _ “You will fight for your honor.” Lord Ozai roared, blind to the fear on his son’s face.  _

__ _ Zuko kneeled, pressing his forearms to the ground. “I meant you no disrespect. I am your loyal son.” Fei had been seated closest to the platform- close enough that a stray flame could burn her- and she saw tears shimmer in his eyes. _

__ _ “Rise and  _ fight,  _ Prince Zuko!” The Prince lowered his head to the floor.  _

__ _ “I  _ won’t  _ fight you.”  _

__ _ “You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher.” Zuko pushed himself to his feet, tears streaming down his face.  _

__ _ Fei almost felt like she should look away, but she can’t. All she can think about is her throat, burning while blue flames eat her up inside.  _ He gets it,  _ she thought.  _ He knows what it’s like, to have flames dancing across your skin and feel like there’s no one coming to help you. 

__ _ After the fight, when the nobles had left and it’s only the few servants permitted to attend, she was the first to his side.  _

“I always thought that Prince Zuko was in a training accident.” Jee’s voice wavers. Fei realizes that Iroh’s finished his story, and the room is quiet. 

“It was no accident. After the duel, the Fire Lord said that by refusing to fight, Zuko had shown shameful weakness. As punishment, he was banished and sent to capture the Avatar. Only then could he return with his honor.” 

“So that’s why he’s so obsessed. Capturing the Avatar is the only chance he has of things returning to normal.” 

“Things will never return to normal. But the important thing is that the Avatar gives Zuko hope.”  _ Hope. _ Everyone is holding their breath, afraid to let the spell that’s been created in the wake of Iroh’s story break.

oOo

Fei stands, ready to return to her post with Zuko, when something hits the boat and she braces herself against the wall. 

“What was that?” Jee asks, looking puzzled. She doesn’t wait around, hurrying out of the door to the main deck. 

It’s pouring rain outside. The Lieutenant follows her out, and she spots Zuko already on the deck.

“Where were we hit?” The Prince asks, yelling to be heard over the storm.

“I don’t know!”

“Look!” Iroh yells, pointing to a man about to fall onto the deck.

“The helmsman!” Zuko runs to the side of the boat, and Jee joins him. Fei bends a bubble of air around the men, and they pull the helmsman to safety. A blast of lightning surprises her, and the bubble disperses. She whirls to see Iroh redirecting the electricity, keeping the boat from being destroyed. With a breath of relief, she relaxes, feeling the rain pour over her skin, thinking of the water that had healed her so many years ago. 

“The Avatar!” Zuko spots the air-bison at the same time she does. She watches him from under the hair that has been plastered against her face. 

“What do you want to do, sir?” Jee asks.

“Let him go. We need to get this ship to safety.” The Prince’s voice is steady, no hint of any indecision.

“Then we need to head into the eye of the storm.” Fei stills herself, planting her feet on the ground and closing her eyes. After a moment, she points to the south. 

“Is that the way to the eye?” She nods at the General, feeling all of her anger at him flow out as easily as the wind whips around her fingers. The boat turns towards the piece of calm on the edge of her senses.

The sun is surprisingly bright for the storm surrounding them. She takes her hair out of it’s bun and sends her air in a spiral of wind, drying it quickly. It falls around her face in tangles and she smiles at the light in the sky. 

She doesn’t notice the boy entranced by her smile, the boy who watches her find joy in the smallest things, the boy who’s falling in love with her little by little, though he doesn’t know it yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ik i said i would stop repping my instagram but!! i'm taking requests bc i finished writing book 1 today so anything pre-canon or book one i would love to write :)  
> comments and kudos keep me motivated!! take ur meds and drink water please :))


	14. The Blue Spirit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei is not herself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: death

_ Footsteps thud under Fei as she runs. Her feet are bare, and yet nothing catches them. As she slows to a stop, she finds that she’s not in any forest she’s ever seen. The trees are almost a blue color, and everything is glowing slightly.  _

__ _ A kind voice comes from behind her. _

__ _ “Fei, my sister. I was wondering when you would come.” She whirls, dimly realizing that she’s wearing the dress she saw at the harbor all those nights ago. _

__ _ “Who are you?” Fei’s voice surprises herself. It’s slightly melodic, like she never quite finished her last lullaby. “Why can I..?” She trails off into a question, still not quite sure what’s going on.  _

__ _ “You’re in the Spirit World, and the Princess Azula did not mute your spirit. I am Yang Chen-” _

__ _ “The Avatar. But aren’t you supposed to be… in him?”  _

__ _ “My spirit resides here until Avatar Aang calls upon me.” The woman’s blue arrow catches Fei’s eye, and she can’t quite look away. Had the Fire Nation not attacked, would she have one of her own?  _

__ _ “Why do you need me?” She asks. Yang Chen smiles. _

__ _ “Yes, that. The most important piece of the puzzle. There is a village nearby who’s crops died before the harvest- burned to the ground by Fire Nation soldiers.” _

__ _ “What do you want me to do about it?” Another female figure emerges from the shadows, wearing a wedding gown and a veil that hazes her features. “The Spirit of the Veil.” Fei breathes. Her mother had told her the story of the spirit, but Fei hadn’t ever believed her- and yet, she couldn’t deny what she saw in front of her.  _

__ _ “Airbenders have always had a special connection with the Spirit Realm. I’m calling on you, Fei, to help that village.”  _

__ _ “But… isn’t that the Avatar’s job?”  _ __ __

__ _ “Avatar Aang has a bigger… fish to fry, as it is. Can I trust you?” She meant that the Avatar was too busy taking down the Fire Nation, so she found the only other airbender on the planet. _

__ _ “Can I have some time to think about it?” _

__ _ “Of course, my sister.” Yang Chen smiles. “Walk with me.” _

__ _ The walk through the woods is quiet. There's a faint aura of birds chirping and bugs buzzing, but nothing feels the way a forest should.  _

__ _ “I still don’t understand why you need me.”  _

__ _ “Fei, you are the only other airbender- the only other being in the world who I can ask to do this.” _

__ _ “But I don’t have any spiritual connection. I’ve never kept up with any traditions, or… I don’t know. I work for the  _ Fire Nation.  _ Hasn’t that… broken something?” _

__ _ “My dear, every time you use your bending, you’re strengthening your connection with the Spirit World.” They stop, looking up at the moon.  _

_ “Okay. I’ll do it. On one condition.”  _

__ _ “Yes?” _

__ _ “I want to talk to you again- or anyone, really. I just…”  _ I’m tired of feeling so alone  _ “I want to…” _

__ _ “I understand. It’s time for you to go, though…” Her voice fades out, and  _ Fei sits bolt upright in bed, coated in sweat and panting. 

She sees herself in the mirror, long hair clinging to her skin.  _ Was that real? Did I really speak with the  _ Avatar,  _ or was it just a figment of my lonely imagination? _

She decides that she doesn’t care. It’s an excuse to get off the ship, and worst case scenario, she helps a starving village- because imagination or no, she believes that part of the story. 

One of the first things Fei ever did aboard the Prince’s ship was find the floorboards that creak in her room. She had been 12 years old and ripped from everything she knew, losing all hope with the world, so she had turned to something simple.

It paid off. She creeps to the door, listening carefully for the padding of anyone making their own midnight ventures. When she doesn’t hear anything, Fei turns the handle carefully, hoping the small  _ click _ of the handle doesn’t wake her neighbors. 

The hallway is dark and a bit eerie. She keeps to the side, pausing in front of every door and listening to the inhabitant’s breathing, a bag held tight in her hand. A vague sense at the edge of her consciousness sets her on edge, but she can’t pin it down.  _ Likely just a bad sleeper writing home.  _

The kitchen door is unlocked. She shovels food into her satchel, mouthing prayers to Yang Chen that the other soul awake wouldn’t get a craving for tea. To Fei’s relief, she finishes quickly and slips out before anyone else enters.

She makes it to the upper deck without much fuss, but freezes when she sees another shape slip over the railing. Fei stands with one leg over her own portion of rail, unsure what to do.  _ Who was that? What was he doing?  _ A few long moments later, after the man’s footsteps have faded into the woods, she sighs and heaves her other leg over the side. She slides off the ship, a bubble of air catching her fall. 

Fei bounces to her feet, pausing for a moment to make sure no one heard her departure. When she’s certain no one has, she darts into the darkness and relative safety of the forest- and realizes she has no idea where to go. The buzz of the forest is pleasant, and Fei just starts walking.  _ Let the spirits guide me. _

Soon she stumbles upon a path, worn into the ground by years of travel. A few paces ahead, she sees a package that stands out against the background of the forest. She approaches it cautiously, and prods it with the toe of her shoe. The blood red ribbon tying it together falls off, and it opens. 

A shimmering white veil lies at her feet. Fei crouches, looking at the ribbon, and sees both the symbol of airbenders and firebenders stamped into it. Yang Chen’s message could not be more clear.

_ Thank you,  _ she thinks, slipping the veil into place. The ribbon is some type of silk- the type of thing her commoner family would never have, but could easily be found in the palace. She coils it up and slips it in the bottom of her bag, continuing on her way. Her mind has barely turned to the issue that she has no idea where this village is when a voice calls out. 

“Oh, the Veiled Lady! Thank the spirits, we were worried you weren’t coming!” A man in a farmer’s hat waves his hand wildly over her head. Panic seizes Fei when she remembers her lack of speech, but her mother’s voice is soothing in the back of her mind. 

_ “And, as a punishment for her insolence, Lord Azulon stripped her spirit of her ability to speak.”  _

_ “Could he do that to her spirit? He’s not that powerful.”  _

“ _ Hush, child. Never let anyone hear you say such things.” Fei’s eyes widen at her mother’s words, fear dancing through them. “Besides. He didn’t need to  _ do  _ it. His tale was powerful enough. Never forget that, Fei. Your stories have power.”  _ Mayhaps Yang Chen had other reasons for giving her this identity- for even after such a short time, Fei felt comfortable in the light fabric stretched across her face. 

“Come quickly, our children need food.” She follows the man, aged beyond his years. 

The village is still smoking. Fei had known that the Fire Army had burned these crops, but hadn’t realized just how  _ recent _ it was- the fields could easily have been just fine when she had gone to bed.

The wails of the families hits her just after the scent of the smoke.  _ Spirits, what did they do? _

“It was Commander Zhao. He was going to the nearby stronghold, and we were in his way.” The farmer explained. Fei shut her eyes momentarily, giving herself a break to calm the thoughts racing in her brain. When they opened, she was ready. 

The one thing that nearly made her break was the tugging on her skirt. She was fine seeing the burns, the starving children, the overflowing medic building. But the one thing she couldn’t handle were the people whose bodies were beyond recognition, who were asking for a spirit to send them on their way- because she wasn’t a spirit. She was a fifteen year old girl who lived in the country that ruined their lives- she had spent the last five years making their tormentors happy. 

When her bag was empty, her heart tightened. The town was far from saved, and the ship was leaving tomorrow. She couldn’t even tell them the situation, couldn’t explain what happened and why she couldn’t ease their child’s suffering. Instead, Fei looked at the dying people at her feet.  _ If only I could help them. If only I could do something to stop their pain.  _

The first one was an accident. She had bent to put a hand to his- for she knew, afterwards, that it was a he, had wished she was a waterbender so she could heal him, and then before she could stop what she was doing, the air was pulled from his body.

He fell, limply, to the ground. There was a pause when she wasn’t sure what she had done, but then they surged around her legs, begging her to end them.  _ I can’t. This isn’t good, it’s not kind- airbenders are meant to save lives, not end them. _

Fei’s hands were shaking by the end, tears streaming down her face. How many people had she killed? Was she now any better than the soldiers who had given them this fate? For they may have written this tale, but she had condemned them to it. 

She barely noticed that she had walked into the forest until a little girl ran up to her. 

“Veiled Spirit! Veiled Spirit! You dropped your ribbon!” The silk trails in the girls dark hands, and Fei grabs it softly, patting the girl on the head. “Thank you.” The girl whispers before running off. Fei can’t bring herself to look at the fabric, the dark red that was so similar to the cracked skin of the village’s bodies. She stuffs it in her bag and carries on.

Later, she would wonder why she didn’t remove the veil. Maybe she was worried her soot coated hands would stain the fabric. Maybe she wasn’t ready to face her sins as herself, eager to hide behind the persona of another woman. Maybe it was Yang Chen, or the Spirit of the Veil herself protecting Fei. No matter what it was, her face was covered when she ran into the boy in the blue mask. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fei in her bedroom: yeah i'll be the veiled lady sounds fun lol i can be friends w yang chen it'll be rad  
> fei after having an existential crisis over killing ppl: 👁👄👁 so that was a fucking lie  
> anyways stay safe!! comments and kudos keep me motivated, drink some water and take your meds for me :) also fei says wear a mask DO IT (especially usa readers were a laughingstock guys)


	15. The Fortuneteller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei finds the light

Prince Zuko has experienced pain. Even before his father had scarred him, he had cuts and burns from training, he had watched his younger sister become his father’s puppet, and his mother leaving did not leave him whole.

But nothing felt quite the same as watching the Avatar run away. The Avatar that he had been searching for for  _ years. _ The Avatar that could send him home. The Avatar that wanted to be friends.

Zuko doesn’t quite know the meaning of the word.

oOo

Fei gasps slightly, startled. She had been about to turn onto the main path to make her way back to the ship when the boy had run into her shoulder.

“Agni’s name- I’m sorry, I didn’t…” he started, trailing off. “Fei?”  _ Zuko. _

She offers a smile, her hands still shaking as she removes her veil.

“What are you doing here?” 

_ “What are you doing here?” _

“I’m- that’s none of your business.” She sighs, letting out the tension building in her chest ever since the first man had gasped his final breath, and bursts into tears. “What-” Fei sits on a fallen log, burying her head in her arms.  _ You’re so embarrassing _ , A voice hisses. 

Her body shakes as she remembers the village's faces. They looked to her to help save them and instead what had she done?

“What happened?” Zuko asks, sitting next to her.

“ _ I killed them.” _

“What!?” He stands, and she turns her tearstained face to him. “You- what?” 

_ “I didn’t mean to, it just…”  _ Another sob claws its way out of her throat.

“I… what?” His confusion would be amusing if she wasn’t dealing with the greatest sin of mankind. She takes a breath, hiccuping then wincing as she tries to gulp air back into her lungs.

“ _ I was trying to help them, and-” _

“Wait. Start at the beginning.”

So Fei tells him all of it, her hands dancing through the air as she bends. She leaves out the part about visiting the Spirit Realm and speaking to Yang Chen as she knows he won’t be sympathetic. When she finishes, he stares at her.

“You know, you could have left.” Fei blinks at Zuko, his words confusing her.

“ _ What?” _

“You had a bag of food and a way off the boat, you could have left.”

“ _ I’m not a prisoner.” _

“No, you’re not.” There’s a pause as they just stare at each other, the strangeness of the moment distracting Fei from her sorrow.

“You had to have thought about it though, right?”

_ “No!”  _ Fei’s movement is sharp with indignation. A spark of light escapes her fingertips with a burst, and she stares at it.

Zuko’s eyes are fixed on her hands. “Was that…”

“ _ I don’t know.”  _ She signs, too afraid to try and bend again. It wasn’t fire, she knows that- there was no heat to it, just light.

“Lightbending.” His voice is hushed and reverent. “It’s an offset of airbending. The early Avatars used it, but the technique fell out of public knowledge. I only know about it through the oldest texts in the royal library.”

Fei flicks her wrist, the same way she had before, but nothing happens. She scowls, trying again, and a bubble of light appears. Her hands are cupped under it as she lets out a delighted gasp, looking at the glowing orb.

“I didn’t think it was real.” Zuko says, then “Fei, do you know what this means? You’re the first lightbender in  _ years.” _ She gives him an amused smile, and he stumbles over his words. “I mean- I guess you're used to that.” Fei nods, extinguishing the light with a wave. In the darkness, her shoulders sag once more as she remembers what she had done.

“We should probably head back.” She nods at the Prince’s words, though he can't see her. 

The walk back is quiet, and Fei can tell he wants to talk about- what? The people she murdered? Her lightbending? She doesn’t much care.

They don’t say anything to each other when they're back at the ship, turning in opposite directions to make their own ways back to their rooms. She doesn’t see it, but her Prince turned back, watching her as she bent a gust of wind to help her aboard the ship.

oOo

_ “You made a mistake.” Fei tells Yang Chen as soon as she fades into consiousness.  _

_ “Did I?” _

_ “Yes! I- I killed people who were relying on me to save them. That’s- It’s against everything airbenders stand for.”  _

“ _ Spirits don’t make mistakes, Fei.” Yang Chen’s voice is soothing. Fei bites the inside of her cheek, wishing she could feel the sharp pain to ground her.  _

_ “But you did. You wanted me to help them, and I couldn’t.” _

_ “You did the right thing.” _

_ “But-” _

_ “Fei. It was a horrible thing you had to do, but it was the right thing.” The older airbender reaches a hand out and grasps Fei’s. “I truly wish that you were not put in this position. I wish that you were able to grow up with other girls your age, and that you weren’t put through the life you have been. But there is nothing we can do about that now, and all that’s left is to fight the Fire Nation as best we can.” Another figure cuts a tall shadow through the trees, and an old man emerges. “This is Avatar Roku, my reincarnation.” He bows to her, and she’s a bit startled as she returns the gesture.  _

_ “You work for the Prince, no?” Roku asks. Fei nods, confused, as he shares a glance with Yang Chen. “That’s not what I was expecting.” _

_ “What do you mean?”  _

_ “Nothing for you to worry yourself over.” _

_ “Oh. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Avatar Roku.”  _

_ “The pleasure’s all mine, I assure you.” This time his voice doesn’t fade out, but is wrenched away from her as  _ the ship’s bell rings, starting the day. Fei doesn’t sit up right away, simply stares at the ceiling and letting Yang Chen’s words flow over her. “ _ It was a horrible thing you had to do, but it was the right thing.”  _ The words help lift her mood, but there’s still an impossible weight on her shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't make fun of my zuko pov i'll cry (there's a reason i always do ocs instead of reader)  
> also there's a fandomwiki page on lightbending but it says fanon? so this is all my own ideas with little to no inspiration from the article  
> i actually got inspiration from rereading shadow and bone jdjdj  
> comments and kudos keep me motivated!! take your meds and drink some water, i love you :))


	16. Bato of the Water Tribe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei rides a shirshu

When Fei finally pulls herself out of bed, the sun is painting the sky a bright orange. She’s able to put the previous night out of her head as she laces her gown and pins her brooch to her chest. By the time she’s knocking on the Prince’s door to wake him, Fei’s almost able to forget it ever happened, if only briefly. 

Until Zuko lets her in, and she sees that he obviously stayed up all night researching light bending. As he retreats to his dressing room, Fei takes the scrolls down from their place pinned on the wall. She rolls them carefully, ignoring the delicately painted text about the Avatar and airbending masters. 

“What are you doing?!” He yells from behind her, and she startles. A biography of Wan hits the ground with a thud. 

_“You don’t need to research this.”_ The wind whispers. 

“I wasn’t doing it for you. I need to catch-”

_“The Avatar, I know. But this isn’t going to help. I know you want your honor back, but maybe…” But maybe your father shouldn’t be the judge of that._

“Prince Zuko! Come and have a cup of tea with your old uncle.” Iroh interrupts.

“Just a moment, Uncle!” Zuko yells, eyebrows furrowed in an unreadable expression. 

When the two men are seated and the tea is poured, Iroh sighs contentedly. 

“See, Prince Zuko, a moment of quiet is good for your mental well-being.” As Zuko brings the cup to his mouth, the ship jerks, splashing him. Fei turns and peers down the hallway at the commotion. 

“Fei!” Wang yells from the opposite end of the hall. “She’s coming for me!” Fei rolls her eyes at the man’s raving, moving cautiously to the main deck. 

The guards are posed to attack. Fei can’t quite tell what they’re looking at, until a giant shirshu leaps onto the deck. Her father had told her stories of his time serving in the Fire Nation army, of a giant beast who could track anyone anywhere. Dread hardens in her stomach. Is the Princess looking for me?

“Look out!” The soldiers call.

“Get back! We’re after a stowaway!” The woman astride the beast is holding a rolled whip.

“There are no stowaways on my ship.” Zuko says from behind her, arriving with his uncle. The shirshu rips a piece of metal from the deck, throwing it towards the three of them. Fei airbends it with ease, too preoccupied with the woman to worry about her reporting the bending to anyone. The beast’s head disappears in the hole and comes up holding Wang in between it’s jaws. Fei suppresses a giggle at the man’s face. He wriggles out of his prison and runs to her, and she stops finding the situation so funny. 

“Help!” Wang cries, but Fei turns away and crosses her arms. The shirshu’s tongue lashes out and strikes him, and he falls. 

“He’s paralyzed.” Zuko says as Fei kicks Wang’s hand away from her foot.

“Only temporarily. The toxins will wear off in about an hour.” The woman slings the man over her shoulder. “But by then, he’ll be in jail, and I’ll have my money.” _Jail?_

“But how did you find him on my ship?” 

“My shirshu can smell a rat a continent away.” With that, she mounts the beast and rides off. 

“Well, I’m impressed. Very impressed.” Iroh strokes his beard. Fei raises her eyebrows at the old man in disgust.

oOo

Later that night, Fei finds herself in a seedy Earth Kingdom tavern. Prince Zuko strides through the crowd, shoving people out of his way.

“Out of my way! Step aside, filth!” He yells. From behind her, Iroh amends, 

“He means no offense! I’m certain you bathe regularly.” 

When they reach the woman’s table, she’s arm wrestling a large man- and winning, Fei realizes with a smile.

“I need to talk to you!” Zuko demands.

“Well, if it isn’t my new friends; Angry Boy and Uncle Lazy.” Her gaze skips over Fei, and she can’t say she isn’t relieved to be spared the insult. The woman wins her match, and the crowd cheers.

“Your beast trashed my ship. You have to pay me back!” 

“Well, I’d love to help you out, but I’m a little short on money…” She turns to the crowd. “Drinks on me!” Zuko’s hand lashes out and grabs her wrist. 

“Money isn’t what I had in mind.”

Outside, the woman- June, she had said- watches them with a bemused look.

“I need you to find someone.” Zuko shoves Katara’s necklace towards her. 

“What happened, did your girlfriend run off on you?” Zuko’s eyes dart towards Fei as he says, 

“It’s not the girl I’m after, it’s the bald monk she’s traveling with.” As she always did when Zuko was tracking Aang, Fei’s insides felt like they were being mauled by the shirshu in front of her. 

“Whatever you say.”

“If you find them, I’ll consider the damage to my ship payed for.”

“Forget it.” 

“Plus, we’ll pay your weight in gold.” June pauses at Iroh’s words, smiling. 

“Make it your weight, and we’ve got a deal.”

Iroh laughs, laying a hand on his stomach. “You got it!” 

“Get on.” June says. 

As June shows her beast Katara’s necklace, Zuko helps Fei climb on it’s back. He sits behind her, his hands around her waist, with Iroh behind him.

oOo

Fei’s legs are cramping when they make it to the herbalist’s home. The shirshu growls at a cat, who hisses, alerting her owner.

“Out for a bit of fresh air, are we?” Fei realizes what a strange sight they must make. 

“We’re looking for someone.” Zuko’s voice is sharp in Fei’s ear. 

“I hope it’s not Miyuki. Miyuki, did you get in trouble with the Fire Nation again?” The cat meows, and Fei smiles at the small animal. 

“The Avatar’s been through here. Let’s keep moving. Come on, Nyla, let’s go.” _Nyla_ bounds down the mountain, leaving Miyuki and the old woman behind.

Hours later, Fei is realizing the appeal of an air-bison. The town is small, yet the pillars of stone are as formidable as the wall around the capitol of the Fire Nation.

They come to a rest outside of some spiritual shop. A woman waits outside, gazing up at them calmly as if she was expecting them.

“Why are we stopping?” Zuko asks.

“Because, the girl must have spent a lot of time here.” The pair’s annoyance is evident.

“We have no time for this!” He slides off of Nyla and brandishes the necklace in front of his nose. Nyla snaps at his hand, and he yells, “Hey! Watch it!” Iroh chuckles from his seat, and Fei presses a hand over her mouth.

“Hey, look. He likes you.” June laughs. Fei extends a hand to help Zuko up onto Nyla as he huffs with embarrassment. 

oOo

“We’re getting close.” June calls over her shoulder as they pass through an abbey. She whips Nyla, who scampers into the woods. Zuko’s arms tighten around Fei's waist in anticipation.

Two voices come down the trail, and Fei feels the coppery taste of blood come from where she had bit her cheek. Nyla bounds impossibly far, landing behind the Water Tribe siblings.

“So, this is your girlfriend. No wonder she left, she’s way too pretty for you.” June smirks. A spike of jealousy stabs through Fei, but is smothered by her relief. _Aang’s not here._

“Where is he? Where is the Avatar?” Prince Zuko yells.

“We split up. He’s long gone.” Sokka says defiantly.

“How stupid do you think I am?” 

“Pretty stupid.” Sokka grabs his sister. “Run!” Laughter bubbles in Fei's chest, but she stops when Nyla paralyzes the siblings.

“What are we supposed to do now?” Zuko asks. June slides off of Nyla, walking towards Katara and Sokka.

“It’s seeking a new scent. Perhaps something the Avatar held.”

“Fei, could you?” Fei’s eyes widen slightly at her Prince’s request, but sets Katara and Sokka as gently as she can on Nyla’s back.

“You’re an airbender?” June asks.

“ _No.”_ The wind sighs. June laughs. Fei can’t quite smile back as she feels Katara’s frustration. 

Back at the abbey, Nyla paces in a circle. Fei doesn’t have to look up to feel the presence of another airbender flying above them, but she does anyways. Aang swoops overhead with his glider, making wide circles.

“What’s it doing? It’s just going in a circle.” Zuko’s anger is palpable. Aang flies down to meet them, and Nyla stands to meet him. His riders fall off the back. Fei lets out a _humph_ as Katara’s elbow lands on her sternum. 

Zuko is the first to his feet, and he extends a hand to her. She takes it gratefully, brushing off the back of her dress as Katara glares up at her.

June remounts Nyla and charges at Aang. His air-bison- _Appa,_ she remembers from the fight in the Southern Water Tribe. Aang lands on the ground in front of Zuko, and Fei turns her back on the battle.

“ _I’m sorry._ ” The air whispers as Fei pulls Katara to an alleyway away from danger. The nuns take her cue and bring Sokka.

“It’s…. getting harder to believe you.” Katara strains. An explosion booms from behind them, and Fei turns to see Zuko flying through the air. She sends a gust of wind to keep him from hitting the ground, and he lands on a roof, _safely_.

“Come on! Get up!” June yells, and moments later Appa lets out a roar. _Too many things are happening at once_ the voice in her head is panicked, and she takes a long, slow breath.

“Hey, I think I’m getting some feeling back!” Sokka cries. Fei takes off, running through the abbey and ducking the blasts from the various fights going on. Zuko sends three fire blasts by her head, but she ignores the panic.

“ _Hey!”_ A breeze whispers into his ear, and he rolls his eyes.

“Sorry!” He calls over his shoulder. Her eyes latch on the blue choker in his hand the same moment Aang’s do. Her gaze darts to his face as he says,

“You’ve got something I want.” Fei dodges them and comes to rest outside of a door, panting. After a beat, she slips into the doorway. The cool darkness envelops her, and a tentative light envelops her hand. 

Rows of scrolls rest on shelves. Fei raises her hand, and globes of light come off of it, illuminating the different signs. A strong floral smell reaches her nose as she searches for anything on lightbending.

Scrolls float, on their own, towards her. A smile brightens her face as she recognizes the wind’s help.

“ _Thank you.”_

Fei emerges into the bright daylight with a shudder. Nyla’s head is whipping about, and his tongue lashes towards June.

“Fei! Duck!” She heeds her Prince’s warning, crouching as the poison whips over her head.

Katara, Sokka, and Aang stand in a circle, smiling at each other. Fei’s attention is pulled from them when Zuko says,

“Uncle? I didn’t see you get hit by the tongue.”

“Shh.” The old man shushes, and Fei curls her lip. With only a little manuvering of the wind, she pulls June off the old man and props her up in a corner. Her scrolls return to her hand and she sits cross-legged, waiting for her Prince’s feeling to return.

oOo

“You didn’t really want me in jail, did you?”

“No. I’ve heard of your… _talent_ , and I need you to track this girl down.” A rustle of paper fills the dark room- so small that he can feel the presence of the woman in front of him, but so dark he can’t see her face.

“I was already on her trail. You’re the one who-” A burst of fire.

“Silence! You will do this, not out of personal goals, but for your kingdom.”

“...Alright, fine.”

“Do we have a deal?”

“Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i need you guys to trust me when i say i hate using two different kinds of punctuation in writing (obviously it's not the same when i'm commenting) but idk how else to show zuko's yelling. also fei says FUCK pedophiles (but... was wang actually into her? questions, questions...)  
> Comments/kudos keep me motivated! take your meds and drink some water please


	17. The Deserter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei studies

_ “You see, Fei, the wind is not a device for you to control, it’s not a beast to tame. It’s your friend. You must ask it to do as you wish. That is how airbending is different from the other elements. Airbenders must trust the air, and have it trust us.” Yang Chen finishes. Fei’s brows are furrowed in concentration as she tries to memorize all that the Avatar had told her. _

__ _ Yang Chen has kept to her promise of letting Fei visit the Spirit World, and has even begun to help her with her airbending, though it is difficult in a place where it’s impossible to bend.  _

__ _ “You’ve done well, my dear. I think you ought to get some rest.” And so Fei tumbles into a burning village. Charred faces grin up at her as she struggles against the bonds tying her down. The Princess’s face looms in front of her.  _

__ _ “That sounds an awful lot like an airbender lullaby.” Azula sneers, and  _ she’s awake. 

Fei’s hands shake only slightly as she readies herself for the day. She forces herself to smile at the reflection in the mirror, and finds it comes more naturally than it has in a long time. 

She turns to the gilded scrolls resting on the table.  _ “It’s your friend. You must ask it to do as you wish,”  _ Yang Chen’s voice echoes in her head. 

Fei raises her hands. The scrolls lift in the air, floating in place. She brings her fingers to her palm, and a current of wind brings them towards her. They tuck under her skirts, and she makes her way to the Prince’s rooms. 

The parchment rubs against her legs, their pages whispering a promise of secrets being unearthed for the first time in centuries as Zuko dresses. 

When he emerges from his dressing room, Fei release the scrolls. They drop, rolling over to rest at his feet. 

“What is this?” He stops to pick one up. “Lightbending: The Origins?” An eyebrow raises. Fei blushes, pink creeping down her neck. 

_ “I wanted to apologize for yesterday.”  _ She bends. 

“Is this what you were doing in the abbey?” Fei nods. Zuko begins to inspect the writing flower, and Fei opens the drawer she had put the Prince’s previous research in. 

A knock comes at the door, and the two look at each other. Fei points to the screen, folded in the corner, and answers the door. 

“General Iroh is requesting Prince Zuko to train in firebending.” The man announces. Fei never bothered to learn his name, only remembered his face. 

She glances over her shoulder.

“ _ The Prince is sick..”  _ She signs. He looks at her, puzzled, and she bites down on her cheek in annoyance. 

_ “Cough.”  _ A breeze murmurs in Zuko’s ear, and he lets out a hacking noise that would surely send someone who truly sounded like that to a medic. 

“Ah. Is he ill?” The man asks, and she nods. “I’ll inform the General.” The door closes with a  _ thud _ and Fei turns to the room. 

oOo

“So, what did you find?” Zuko asks. Fei presented her arm, upon which she had been taking notes. 

_ “Lightbending---- a specialized bending form derived from airbending _

_ Bends the light in the air _

_ Invented by the first Avatar _

_ Yang Chen first Avatar to not have a recorded case of using it _

_ Mixes firebending technique with the ability to airbend.”  _

Zuko grasps her wrist lightly, reading over her shoulder. His touch sends goosebumps racing along her neck, but if he notices, he doesn’t say anything. 

“It was used mostly by air and fire native Avatars, along with most early airbenders. It fell off among normal benders far before it did with Avatars.” Zuko tells her. Something about the idea that light bending was a lost skill she stumbled upon by accident sent a chill racing down her spine. 

“Prince Zuko!” General Iroh calls. Fei sighs, gesturing for Zuko to lie down. In a smooth movement, the scrolls roll up and the screen, upon which they had pinned several texts, zips back to it’s corner. When the door opens, they are the picture of innocence. 

Zuko is lying on his bed with a cold washcloth pressed to his forehead. Fei sits, concerned, next to his bed, watching his every movement with a careful eye. 

“My nephew, you should have told me you were sick!” The old man exclaims. The servant from before follows him, carrying a covered tray. “I come bearing gifts.” Iroh opens a small folding table and sets it on the bed, over the Prince’s legs. The man sets the tray on the table, opening it with a flourish. 

A teapot and a small stack of cups sits under the cloche. “Thank you, Aito,” Iroh addresses the man, who bows and leaves the room.  _ Aito.  _

“Nothing takes care of a cough better than a cup of warm tea.” Fei rolls her eyes as Zuko sits up, removing the cloth.

“How are you feeling?” He asks. Zuko points to his throat, a gesture Fei is all too familiar with. “Ah! I find myself among two people who cannot speak. Maybe it will help me with my own voice.” 

“ _ You should leave. I don’t want you to get sick.”  _ Fei signs. 

“But what about you?” 

_ “I’ve already caught it.”  _ She gives a weak cough, shuddering at the feeling on her throat. 

“Then you must  _ rest _ !” She looks at the old man, surprised, then walks to the door.  _ I hadn’t thought he would send me away, but- _

“No, not  _ your  _ bed.” The shock freezes her. “Come!” Fei’s head drops and she sighs, then climbs awkwardly under the Prince's covers.  _ Spirits. What did I do to deserve this torture?  _ Her skirt rides up as she adjusts, and she feels Zuko’s leg press against hers. She can’t tell if it’s intentional or not, but she doesn’t dare pull away. 

His jaw works as Iroh says, “You two get some rest. I’ll send lunch up in a few hours.” 

As soon as the door closes- and Fei would be lying if she told you she had nothing to do with it- she leaps out of bed and paces, running her hands through her hair and ruining her bun. 

“What’s wrong?” The Prince asks. 

_ “It absolutely can not get out that we’re sick with the same thing! And resting in the same bed?”  _ Even the wind is frustrated as it hisses.

“Do you want me to-”

“ _ Don’t you dare do anything.”  _

“But-”

_ “That will just make everything worse!”  _ The force of her anger causes one of his drawers to pop open, and Fei whispers a curse, the pain satisfying some of her anger. “ _ Could I just-”  _

“Wait, don’t look in there!” Zuko knocks the tray of tea over in his rush to get out of bed. He doesn’t quite make it in time. 

She pulls the white gown out of the drawer, holding it out in front of her. 

_ “Is this the dress from the harbor?”  _

“Yes. I bought it from the pirates. I was waiting for a good time to give it to you, but…” Fei throws herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and kicking her legs in the air. 

When her feet are on solid ground, she looks at the dress once more. 

_ “It’s beautiful. Thank you.”  _

“You’re the one who picked it out.” It’s his turn to flush. 

_ “I want to stay, but.. I really should be going.”  _ Fei’s about to leave when she turns back. 

She dashes to him and pushes herself onto her tiptoes, giving him a short kiss on the cheek. 

Before either of them have time to react, Fei’s out the door and down the hallway. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is kinda short i'm sorry :(  
> i've been putting fei through a lot of shit for no reason so have some fluff :DD does it count if they're not in a relationship? idk but take it  
> comments and kudos keep me motivated!! take ur meds and drink water so you stay healthy :)


	18. The Northern Air Temple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei makes a friend

“Prince Zuko, the Avatar was spotted in a Fire Nation town. Admiral Zhao attempted capture, but the Avatar got away.” A smile quirks at the corners of Fei’s mouth at the news. Iroh rolls the message up, sending the messenger hawk back to it’s master. 

“We’ll wait the boy out.” Prince Zuko decides. 

“Ah, so now you decide to obey your father.” 

“Those were special circumstances!” Zuko yells. He’s been on edge ever since the night before, ever since Fei had discovered the dress, and she knows it’s not only her who’s noticed. 

Fei’s not sure what possessed her that day. What she did was not appropriate for someone of her status, but even had she been a noble it wouldn’t have been acceptable.

What would her life be like if her parents were a duke and duchess? Would her airbending have her killed? Surely Azula wouldn’t have burned her, though, the memory of Prince Zuko’s Agni Kai makes her think that the Fire Lord family didn’t care much for acceptable behavior. 

The room bustles with movement, and Fei realizes that the Prince has given them their orders. She sticks close to him, pressing her back against the wall to allow space for the others to leave. A few of them smile at her as they pass her, and she nods to them. 

When the room is empty, Zuko’s shoulders slump. Iroh pats him on the shoulder, and Fei’s eyes widen slightly in embarrassment and recognition.  _ Obviously he’s not upset because of her.  _ As a child, she used to attend festivals on this day. Always a celebration of winter to spring, but beyond that…

The Fire Lady’s birthday. 

Zuko’s mother. 

The one who went missing. 

_ Missing. _

Fei’s unsure what to do. She doesn’t want to act above her level, despite the fact that she just did, and for less.  _ Special circumstances,  _ Zuko’s voice echoes. She does want him to know that she cares. She instead stands uncomfortably against the wall, mentally yelling at herself all the while. 

oOo

That night, Fei’s readying Zuko’s bed as he prepares to sleep. When he sits at the foot of the bed, she realizes he has dark bags under his eye, and looks like he hasn’t slept well in days. She sits next to him, bumping his shoulder gently with hers. 

_ “You okay?”  _ The words come on a light breeze that she hopes is calming. He sighs, rubbing the heels of his hands into his eyes. 

“Honestly? No.” His voice is raw, and she bites the inside of her cheek. 

_ “Do you miss her?”  _

“All the time.” Fei finds his honesty surprising. “Did you ever meet her?” He asks in a way that makes her think he’d asked everyone else that ever spoke with his mother. 

_ “Once. I only worked there for a few months before… It wasn’t really much, though. Azula kicked over a bucket of water I was using to clean, and Lady Ursa made her help me clean.”  _ Fei huffs out a little laugh.  _ “She didn’t end up doing much, but…”  _ Zuko leans backwards, resting against the bed, and Fei is hit with the realization that they are  _ teenagers.  _ They were meant to have deep, end-of-the-world conversations on solid grounds, without knowing that the end of the world is not out of the picture for them They shouldn’t be having conversations about his disappeared mother on the boat from the Fire Navy, searching for the only other airbender on the planet. 

_ “She was always good to us. The folks in the kitchen used to talk, after she left, about what a shame it was.” And what a shame it was that she left her children with Lord Ozai.  _ They fall into a quiet tinged with sadness. 

“My mom… she was just so good, you know? I could never believe that she married my father.” 

_ “I’m sorry.”  _ Fei can’t think of what to say, so she falls into the simplest form of sympathy. It’s impossible for her to imagine a life without her mother, a life without someone to tuck you in at night and kiss you on the forehead and remind you that everything’s going to be okay. Even the idea of not having her mother to tell her fables or teach her Grandmother’s old recipes makes her stomach clench unpleasantly. 

“I’m going to find her.” Fei had been looking at her hands, which she was wringing in her lap, but she looks over her shoulder sharply at this. “After I capture the Avatar and restore my honor, I’m going to find her.” She shifts, trying to relieve the tension born from the mention of the Avatar, leaning against the bedpost and tucking her knee to her chest. 

“Prince Zuko! The Avatar has been seen again.” Lieutenant Jee calls. Zuko rights himself and Fei opens the door. 

“He defeated several Fire Nation soldiers in an attack on the Northern Air Temple.”  _ An air temple?  _ “They used a specialized type of attack via the air.” The lieutenant hold out a sketch. Zuko takes it, inspecting it carefully. “We suspect he used it in conjunction with his airbending. We believe it’s his last stop on the way to the Northern Water Tribe.” 

“Then, tell the helmsman to set a course to the North Pole, as fast as possible.” Fei feels vaguely sick to her stomach.  _ Are we really that close? Is it almost over?  _ She closes the door gently, hearing the latch click into place in the quiet of the room.

“Fei?” He asks, startling her. “Do you think we could be friends?” When she looks at him, he rushes on. “It’s something the Avatar asked me, when… but do you think it’s even possible?”  _ She’s meant to serve, not be a conversationalist. I want to learn to fight an airbender. Maybe she shouldn’t have sung treasonous songs. You helped him escape, didn’t you? Why on earth would you do that? Not very good backup. The safety of the crew doesn’t matter! _

__ But then, she remembers the day they had spent researching, his awed face that night in the woods, the dress he had given her, the way he had walked her home while they were costumed as other people. 

__ She grins at the boy, and he offers her his own small smile. “ _ Yeah. I think we could.”  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i donot know what to say :) this is the third time i've tried to upload this chapter. comments and kudos keep me motivated. drink some water and take ur meds!!


	19. The Waterbending Master

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Zuko dies

_ “I have a baby sister, actually.”  _ The wind is light and happy as Fei’s fingers trace designs in the air. 

“Really? I never pegged you as the older sibling type.” Zuko says. They’re both sitting on his bed, wasting as much time as they can before they have to return to the real world. 

_ “She was born about a year before all of this.”  _ Fei gestures to the room. 

“Is she…” 

_ “An airbender? I don’t think so.”  _ Suddenly, the door opens. Fei looks over her shoulder to see General Iroh, as Zuko says, 

“For the last time, I’m not playing the tsungi horn.”

“No, it’s about our plans. There’s a bit of a problem.” Iroh’s sweating slightly, and Fei’s stomach twists. 

None of the thoughts racing through her head measured up to the truth. 

“I’m taking your crew.” Zhao steps into the room, and it feels like it shrinks around the four of them. 

“What!?” Zuko cries. 

“I’ve recruited them for a little expedition to the North Pole.”

“Uncle, is that true?” Fei looks at the general, hopeful that it’s a lie to get on the Prince’s nerves. 

“I’m afraid so. He’s taking everyone…” Zhao’s hand clamps around Fei’s wrist. 

“That includes her. Sorry you won’t be there to watch me capture the Avatar. But I can’t have you getting in my way again.” 

“No!” Zuko charges at Zhao, but Iroh cuts him off. 

“I didn’t know you were skilled with broadswords, Prince Zuko.” Zhao must have noticed the display on the wall, but Fei is too busy struggling to notice. 

“I’m not. They’re antiques. Just decorative.” 

“Have you heard of the Blue Spirit, General Iroh?” Zhao shifts his attention. 

“Just rumors- I don’t think he’s real.”  _ The Blue Spirit.  _ Zuko’s blue mask flashes in her head, and she’s hit with a wave of recognition.

“He’s real, all right. He’s a criminal, and an enemy of the Fire Nation. But I have a feeling that justice will catch up with him soon. General Iroh, my offer still stands… If you change your mind.” Zhao drags Fei to the door, and a panicked,  _ “Zuko!”  _ Fills the room. Fei’s not even sure she meant to bend, but it works. 

“Wait! She’s… what use is she? She’s just a serving girl.” Zuko cries. 

“What use is she?” Zhao lets out a sick laugh that makes the hair stand up on the back of her neck. “More to me than you, apparently.” 

“No! I… I command you to release her.” 

“Sorry,  _ Prince Zuko,  _ but I’m afraid I have permission from someone who outranks a banished prince.” 

“It’s true. The Fire Lord himself signed off on it.” Iroh’s voice is miserable, but Fei doesn’t near it. Her attention is focused on her Prince, on her only friend, as the door closes in between them.  _ Will this be the last time I see him?  _

She doesn’t stop her struggle until they’re about to go up the stairs. He leans over and hisses in her ear, 

“Stop your struggling, little airbender.” Fear freezes the blood in her veins, and she stops. “That’s right. I know what you are. And you are very important to my plan.” 

Fei knows the temper of firebenders all too well, but Zhao’s isn’t like Zuko’s or Azula’s. It’s not a match, easy to spark and simple enough to put out if you know how. It’s not a forest fire, impossible to dampen until it’s run it’s course. 

It’s the embers left at the end of a fire, burning long after everyone has deserted it, simmering and ready to rage in burning pain with something as slight as a breath of wind. 

And it terrifies her. 

oOo

He allows her little time to pack, just enough for her to hide her white dress under a pile of red and bend a bubble of air to keep her plant safe in the trunk. Fei turns her back to him for just a moment, and pulls her sleeve up to tie the The Veiled Lady’s ribbon around her elbow. 

After her trunk is full, they pass other workers on the way to Zhao’s ship. They all look at her sadly as she’s dragged by them. 

“You may be wondering why I’m taking you and not the rest right now.” He says imperiously. 

_ “I know why.”  _ She bends with her free hand and he scowls, pulling hard at her wrist. She falls, skinning her knees against the ground. Fei rights herself just in time to be shoved onto his boat. Some unnamed man ties her wrists with rope, preventing her bending and cutting her off from communication with the world. 

They row back to the Fire Navy boat, and she continues her struggle to loosen her bonds. Zhao barks at her to stop several times, but she ignores him. 

When they dock, he pulls her off the boat, and she lands a few kicks, pretending she’s trying to get back on her feet. 

Fei starts when she sees pirates inside the building. 

“We heard you were looking to get rid of-  _ woah.  _ You caught the Avatar?” 

“This isn’t the Avatar, you fools!” 

“Are you sure? We’ve met her before, and I’m pretty-”

“How did you meet her?” 

“She worked for someone helping us to capture a thief, some bald kid.” 

“And what happened?” 

“The thief got away and we destroyed her master’s boat.” 

“Destroyed, you say? I’m very impressed. You all seem highly qualified for the mission I have in mind.” The captain pulls a chest towards him, and opens it. The glow illuminates his face. The man who had been speaking to them pulls a coin out and bites it. 

“That’s some tasty gold.”

“What do you need us to do?” The captain speaks for the first time. 

“I believe you’re aquatinted with Prince Zuko?” 

oOo

“Take her with you.” Zhao shoves Fei towards the pirates. 

“That’s a little… cruel, don’t you think?” The barker asks, surprising Fei. 

“She needs to be taught a lesson.” Fei is walked aboard the boat and tied to a pipe, where she watches in panic as they sail ever closer to the Prince’s ship. 

They slow to a stop and drop anchor. Fei feels like she can’t breathe, and. The sight of the blast jelly makes her chest tighten. 

“Careful with the blasting jelly!” Th ebarker yells as one of the workers almost drops a barrel. 

Uncle? Is that you?” Fei hears Zuko ask, and she begins kicking her legs, trying to alert him that something’s wrong. 

Before anyone can even tell her to stop, the fuse is lite, and the ship explodes.

Flames lick up the sides as she stares on in horror.

He’s gone. 

The pain in her chest and throat are warring, the memories of Zuko’s smile clashing with the smoke crawling into her lungs. 

She gives a few hacking coughs before going limp. 

He can’t go out like that. 

He can’t fail.

He’s only sixteen. 

He hasn’t mastered firebending. 

He hasn’t captured the Avatar. 

He hasn’t found his mother. 

And he never will. 

oOo

Fei’s delivered quietly back to the Fire Navy base, tears staining her face. 

Zhao sneers at her as he says,

“The Fire Lord has given me orders that, in the wake of your previous master’s tragic demise, you are to work aboard my ships.” He slips heavy gold cuffs over her wrists, heavy enough that she couldn't bend but with enough give that she could still preform her duties.

“General Iroh!” Zhao calls over her shoulder. Fei turns, expecting the old man to give her some recognition, a sign that he remembers the past three years, but there’s nothing. His eyes pass over her like she’s just part of the scenery.

Zhao rings a bell on the table, calling out for tea. Fei walks out of the room, inspecting her cuffs and searching for any way to get them off. 

A tray of tea is waiting in the kitchens, and she balances it carefully on her walk back.

Fei pours the tea easily, trained after years of working under Iroh and…

“What is that?” Zhao asks sharply. At first, Fei thinks he’s seen The Veiled Lady’s ribbon, but he hadn't. He was pointing at the pin adorned on her dress, the one that announced her as an employee of the Prince. 

“Might I have it? Most of my nephews things were destroyed in the explosion.” Iroh’s eyes catch Fei’s for the first time at this, tears welling in them. She pulls it off and places it in his outstretched hand. He folds his fingers around it and brings it close to his chest. 

“I’m devastated to hear about Prince Zuko. Just… devastated.” Fei retreats to a corner, and anger spikes as Zhao speaks.  _ How dare you say his name.  _

“The Fire Lord will not be pleased when he learns who was responsible.” Hope lights in Fei’s chest.  _ He knows?  _

“You know who was behind the attack?” Behind Zhao’s back, Fei brings her right hand up and signs,  _ “Z-H-A-O” _

Iroh nods, and Fei sags in relief. “Yes… pirates. We had a run in with them a while back. They wanted revenge.” 

Zhao sips his tea. “So, have you reconsidered my offer?” 

“Yes, I accept. It will be an honor to serve as your general. To the Fire Nation.” Iroh raises his glass in cheers. 

“To victory!”

Fei feels sick. 

oOo

Hours later, Zhao sends Fei to retrieve Iroh. When she enters his room, a shipman pauses, taking a long look at her. She scowls and shoves past him. 

“Yes?” Iroh asks.

_ “Admiral Zhao is requesting you.”  _ She signs. As they walk back to the top of the lead ship, the same shipman watches her.  _ First Wang, now this?  _

__ “Ah, Iroh. It seems she’s good for something.” Zhao says upon their arrival. He swings his arm wide. “My fleet is ready. Set a course for the Northern Water Tribe.” Fei turns, looking behind them, only to see warships stretching on for miles. 

_ No.  _

__ _ Aang, you better be ready.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhhhhhhh i'm so excited!! two more weeks!! once again i am in fact asking for fanart bc period it's what fei deserves. comments and kudos keep me motivated.


	20. The Siege of the North, P1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei is a prisoner

The old general and young prince meet in front of a small boat. 

“If you’re fishing for an octopus, my nephew, you need a tightly woven net, or he will squeeze through the tiniest hole and escape.”

“I don’t need your wisdom right now, Uncle.” 

“I’m sorry. I just nag you because… well, ever since I lost my son…” 

“Uncle, you don’t have to say it.” 

“...I think of you as my own.” 

“I know, Uncle. We’ll meet again.” They meet in an embrace, more father and son than uncle and nephew. “After I have captured the Avatar.” He swings into the boat. 

“Remember your breath of fire. It could save your life out there.” 

“I will.” 

“And put your hood up! Keep your ears warm.” 

“I’ll be fine.” Before the boy lowers his boat, he turns to his uncle. 

“What’s going to happen to her?” The general lowers his head in shame. 

“Fei… I do not think that she will see the spring.” 

“No…” The old man presses a small gold pin, worn and nicked from years of use into his nephew’s hand. 

“Prince Zuko, you must stay focused-”

“Did you know she has a younger sister? She’s only four, she probably doesn't remember her older sister.” 

“Yes. Sayuri. And you can _protect_ Sayuri and the rest of Fei’s family if you succeed.” The prince sighs and lowers his boat into the water. 

“Goodbye, my nephew.” The general calls into the dark. 

oOo

Fei wasn’t expecting to see Lieutenant Jee aboard Zhao’s ship. She had expected that he died in the explosion with the rest of the crew. 

“Oh my- Fei!” He said when they passed. She turns to him, attempting a smile. “You’re alive! I thought you died with everyone else.” Jee’s eyes fill with sadness. “I can’t believe it. All of them… And the Prince too…” They stand awkwardly for a moment, before he starts talking again. 

“We were all sorry, by the way. We knew it was a lie.” Fei doesn’t have to ask what he’s talking about. “We were just jealous, I think. I mean- you were- are, you’re just a kid. Even if it was true, we shouldn't have done what we did. So, I’m sorry. They a- they were, too.” She doesn’t have a chance to respond.

“Girl!” Zhao calls. Fei turns, masking the grief in her stomach. “Come here.” He grabs her by the chain between her cuffs, dragging her to the top of the ship. The Northern Water Tribe is spread in front of them, already damaged from the Fire Nation cannons. 

“What are you doing with her?” General Iroh asks. 

“Just because I can’t attack the tribe now doesn’t mean I’m at an utter loss.” Fei tries to stop, tries to stumble and make his way that much harder, but he keeps on even after she falls. 

Someone unlocks her cuffs and she's free, for a moment. Fei uses the time to bend, as quickly and loudly as she can. 

_“You know, the Fire Lord has servants who oversee the requests that come to him.”_ Zhao and the man cuffing her still, and Fei thinks she sees a glimmer of amusement in General Iroh’s eyes. 

“What did you say?” Zhao hisses. The servant grabs Fei’s left arm but she pulls it free. 

_“Lord Ozai probably didn’t even see your letter. Because you’re nothing to him. He banished his son to search for the Avatar- what makes your search any different?”_

“I have already nearly succeeded.” _So did Zuko._

_“But he escaped.”_

_“_ Because someone broke him out!”

_“The great Admiral Zhao can barely capture a twelve year old- but you lost to a sixteen year old in an Agni Kai, how could I have forgotten.”_ Her arms are wrestled behind her and forced into cuffs once more. Fei hisses,

_“You’re weak.”_ That was the breath of wind needed to set Zhao’s temper off. 

“Get her out of my sight!” He roared. 

“But, sir, don’t you want-” 

“Do it!” So she is taken, not to her room, but to a prison cell. 

Rats scurry over her feet as she slumps against the wall, the rage draining from her body. In the darkness, her thoughts turn to Zuko. 

_What if he didn’t die? He’s a firebender- he could have made it._

_No. He’s gone._

She falls into a restless sleep, where golden cuffs the color of Zuko’s eyes burn into her wrists. 

oOo

The man from before fetches Fei hours later. She had woken back up, feeling like she couldn’t move. 

Everyone stares at her as she walks by. It seems that stories spread as quickly aboard this ship as her last post. Unlike Zuko’s ship, no one offered any opinion on the tale, only putting their heads down and walking by her quickly.

The moon is low over the horizon when they arrive at the upper deck. 

“Just because I can’t attack doesn’t mean I can’t lure the Avatar.” Zhao explains to Iroh. 

“Yes, you said that.” Iroh says, but Zhao doesn’t hear, turning to Fei with a sick smile. 

“Hello.” He steps aside, and Fei understands it all.

A wooden plank is laid out in front of the ship. It sticks out over the britney sea, and Fei doesn’t have to look over the edge of the boat to know that there were dozens of beasts below, waiting to eat her. 

“You may have disrespected me, but your capture will bring me even higher in Lord Ozai’s graces than I already am.” Zhao’s voice is low enough that no one near them can hear him. 

He claps his hand on Fei’s shoulder and walks her towards the plank. Nerves spike in her, and she truly thinks she might throw up. Darkness starts to claw at the edges of her vision. 

“Move!” Zhao mutters, and Fei’s falling into the dark.

oOo

_A hand is patting Fei’s cheek gently. When she opens her eyes, Yang Chen sighs._

_“Oh, thank the Spirits. She made it through all right.”_

_“Thank me.” A woman is standing in the clearing, face white with makeup._

_“You are a spirit.”_

_“Am I dead?” Fei asks._

_“No, dear.” Yang Chen assures._

_“You will be.” The other woman says solemnly._

_“Kyoshi! You’re still alive, but as my friend says… you might not be, soon.”_

“.... Spirit World…” Iroh is saying

_“Wait, I’m going back.” The two women exchange worried looks._

_“Don’t do that.” Kyoshi says._

_“I can’t control it!” A panicked edge is in her voice as_ her feet stumble beneath her. 

_“Fei, this is very important. I need you to-”_ And Fei is back in the real world. 

_“Go with Avatar Aang. Oh, dear.”_

_“Oh, dear indeed.” Kyoshi pauses, considering, then says, “I’m not sure she’d have listened, either way. “_

oOo

Zhao’s boot is on the back of her neck. Before Fei even has a chance to react to being pulled out of the Spirit World, Zhao is yelling in her ear. 

“Avatar!” His voice is impossibly loud. “I have the only other airbender on the planet right here, and she will die if you don’t turn yourself in.” Had Zhao been any other person, Fei would not have been frightened. She’d seen Zuko go through enough situations where he took a villager and threatened her, only to release her unharmed for her to expect death. But it’s not Zuko, it’s Zhao, and she’s not sure she’ll make it out alive.

“Avatar, she’s going to die. Her blood will be on your hands.” Not even a snowflake shifts on the town in front of her. The sun peaks over the horizon, and Fei can feel just how ready Zhao is to be done with her. 

“Seems he’s not coming.” He mutters. His foot presses forward, and she’s tumbling into the shifting waves. 

_I was right. He did want to kill me._

_At least I’ll see Zuko again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> be sure to tune in next week for the final chapter of book one!! can't believe ive made it haha  
> comments and kudos keep me motivated. drink water and take your meds!!


	21. The Siege of the North, P2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei survives

The salt burns her eyes as she kicks. She doesn’t know which way is up, can only the gauge sense of something big passing overhead. 

Fei gasps as her head breaks the surface of the water, her legs pumping wildly as she tries to stay afloat. Her wrists are still cuffed. She pushes herself away as the Fire Navy boats sail by her. 

_ Not dead. I’m alive.  _

__ _ And I’m planning on staying that way.  _

Fei ducks back under water, making for the shore. Animals circle her, looking at the pale beast in their midst, but swim by without devouring her. 

Fei crawls onto the icy beach an eternity later. She’s not sure she has the strength to stand as she presses her cheek against the ground, watching the far off Fire Nation soldiers attack. 

The sight registers and she pulled herself to her feet. With a start, Fei looks down at her hands to find them free. Next to her, the cuffs are lying on the beach, looking intact. She gives them a puzzled look, then shakes her head and hurries off. 

Scared faces watch her through windows as she runs down the streets of the Tribe. A warm bubble of air surrounds her to keep out the cold, the bending coming easily to her fingertips. 

She pauses when she sees a soldier. 

_ “Where is the Avatar.”  _ The wind doesn’t ask.

“Fire Nation spy!” He levels a spear at her chest, and she knocks it away. 

_ “I’m an airbender. Where’s the Avatar.”  _

“Oh- Come with me.” They duck into streets, turning corners at random, and come to stop in front of a house. 

_ “Is he in here?”  _ __

__ “No. I’m changing you out of that Fire Nation dress.” Fei drops her hands and holds the skirt tightly. 

_ “No.”  _

__ “Fine.” They head off again, and he brings her to a trap door in the ground. “He’s in there with the Princess.” She smiles at the man as she descends the ladder. 

And it’s empty.

Because she can’t catch a break. 

Fei waits for a few moments for the soldier to leave before hauling herself back out.  _ An air-bison is large,  _ she reasons, then closes her eyes. 

She can feel the wind swarming around the Fire Nation ships, around the palace and all the buildings and, westward, a flying mass. 

_ That’s not too far.  _ She begins the trek.

oOo

_ “That’s not too far,”  _ apparently, was too much for someone who just watched their only friend die before being imprisoned and then thrown off a ship. 

Fei’s legs give out from underneath her. Sitting crumpled in the snow, she thinks,  _ What am I even doing here? _ She’s about to begin the long walk back, to maybe start a life in the Water Tribe if Zhao doesn’t ruin it, when a light streaks by- and it looks a bit like-

“Look, that’s got to be Aang! Yip-yip!”  _ The snow must have thrown off my bending, because that was Katara and she’s close.  _ Fei scrambles to her feet and begins to run. 

The sounds of a fight come from ahead, and Fei runs face-first into a mound of fur. She backs up, realizing its Appa as Sokka says, 

“This is some quality rope.” Fei walks around the air bison and sees the siblings huddled around Aang. 

“Fei!” Katara cries, but Fei doesn’t see the girl. Her gaze is focused on Zuko, lying unconscious in the snow. 

_ “He’s alive.” He’s alive. He’s alive? _

__ “We need to get to the oasis. The Spirits are in trouble.” Aang’s voice is grim.

“Are you with us?” Sokka asks. Appa sniffs her.

And Fei so  _ badly  _ wants to say yes. She wants to go with them and leave the Fire Nation behind. 

But she looks at Zuko’s bruised face and she can’t.

Fei shakes her head and pushes past them to sit next to her prince. They give her their own looks of disapproval. She doesn’t notice.

oOo

The young airbender looks back at the two people huddled together in the snow, a blotch of red in the spread of the North Pole. 

“We can’t just leave them there.” 

“Sure we can. Let’s go.” The Water Tribe boy answers. 

“No. If we leave them, they die.” 

“That’s a firebender and an airbender. I think they can survive a blizzard.” It’s too late. Aang has already lept off of the bison to fetch the two. 

Fei’s a bit confused when Aang tells her that they can both go with him. 

_ “Are you sure?”  _

__ “What’s he gonna do?” 

_ “Capture you and turn you over to Lord Ozai.”  _

__ “We can take him.” 

That’s how she ends up riding Appa, wind whipping though her hair. Sokka mutters behind her in dissent with Aang’s choice, but everyone ignores him. Fei unfastens the ribbon from her elbow and ties the top half of her hair away from her face. 

Suddenly, Katara winces, the moon goes red, and the girl with stark white hair grabs her head. 

“Are you okay?” Sokka asks. 

“I feel faint.” 

“I feel it too.” Fei looks up and sees Aang is holding his head too. “The moon spirit is in trouble.” Fei stares at the moon as the princess says, 

“I owe the moon spirit my life.” 

“What do you mean?” Sokka asks. 

“When I was born, I was very sick and very weak. Most babies cry when they’re born, but I was born as if I was asleep, my eyes closed. Our healers did everything they could. They told my mother I was going to die. My father pleaded with the Spirits to save me. That night, beneath the full moon, he brought me to the oasis and placed me in the pond. My dark hair turned white. I opened my eyes and cried, and they knew I would live. That’s why my mother named me Yue. After the moon.” The saddle is quiet as they near the Water Tribe. 

“I am… a legend, now!” The voice grows louder as Appa flies closer to the Tribe. “The Fire Nation will, for generations, tell stories of the great Zhao, who darkened the moon. They will call me… Zhao the Conquerer, Zhao the Moon Slayer, Zhao the Invincible!” Aang’s flying lemur lands on the admiral’s head as Appa lands at the oasis. “Get it off! Get it off!” He cries. 

Everyone climbs out of the saddle. Aang, Katara, and Sokka stand near each other, preparing themselves for the fight. Fei looks down at her hands, at the power in her veins, and then looks back up at Zuko. 

“Don’t bother.” Zhao sneers at them, holding up a bag. Fei’s not sure how she knows- maybe it’s her connection with the Spirit World, or maybe it’s just plain intuition- but she knows that the moon spirit is inside of it. 

“Zhao, don’t!” Aang cries as their group surrenders without a fight. Zhao’s eyes widen as they land on Fei, but she doesn’t care. 

“It’s my destiny to destroy the moon and the Water Tribe.” 

“Destroying the moon won’t hurt just the Water Tribe. It will hurt everyone, including you. Without the moon, everything would fall out of balance. You have no idea what kind of chaos that would unleash on the world.” Aang is begging now. 

“He is right, Zhao.” Iroh comes into the oasis, his face covered by a hood. 

“General Iroh. Why am I not surprised to discover your treachery?” Zhao asks calmly. 

“I’m no traitor, Zhao. The Fire Nation needs the moon too- we all depend on the balance. Whatever you do to that spirit, I will unleash on you tenfold.” Fei begins to sink to the ground slowly, avoiding the soldier’s notice. “Let it go, now!” Iroh yells. Zhao releases the spirit- a fish, Fei is surprised to see- and she thinks maybe it’s over. 

When Zhao sends an arc of fire at it, she knows she was wrong. 

From her vantage on the ground, Fei watches the world fade to gray.  _ He did it.  _ She kicks her leg out, sending a gust of air to knock Zhao off of his feet. Iroh attacks the admiral, sending blast after blast at him. Fei scrambles to her feet to join the General, but Zhao has already escaped. 

“There’s no hope. It’s over.” Yue says from behind the two of them. Iroh pulls Fei into a hug. She closes her eyes, shutting out the black-and-white world, and pretends she’s back aboard Zuko’s boat and everything’s okay. 

Fei’s about to tell Iroh about Zuko, that he’s alive and- well, not safe, but alive, but Aang starts talking. 

“No. It’s not over.” Fei breaks apart from Iroh to see Aang sink into the pond. He closes his eyes as the other fish circles him, sending waves lapping against the side. Blue energy expands into the water, lighting the oasis as a giant creature made of energy slides out of the pool. It moves towards the sea, and the screams of Fire Nation soldiers follow it. 

“Zuko.” Iroh murmurs, and Fei realizes he already knows. She gives him a long look, and runs after the Aang-beast. 

For a panicked second, she thinks he’s dead again. Fei’s heart clenches, silver eyes scanning and rescanning the streets as she listens for any sign of him. 

“You tried to have me killed!” Zuko’s voice echoes between buildings, and Fei runs even faster, sliding around corners she takes too fast. 

“Yes, I did. You’re the Blue Spirit! An enemy of the Fire Nation. You freed the Avatar.” Fei’s forced to stop as the mob of water passes between her and wherever Zuko is- close, she can feel it. 

“I had no choice.” His voice is muffled by the water, and the panic spiking in her chest half convinces Fei that he’s been swallowed until she hears, 

“You should have chosen to accept your failure. You’re a disgrace. Then, at least, you could have lived.” The sound of a fight starts as Fei pauses. She leans against a building, catching her breath, and tries to orient herself. 

She takes off again, hoping the pained noises aren’t from her Prince. 

The bridge catches her off guard, and Fei slides to the bottom on the ice, feet scrabbling for purchase. Zuko has the upper hand, looking down on Zhao. He turns at the sound of her approaching. 

Color seeps into the world as his eyes meet hers. 

“It can’t be.” Zhao yells, and time speeds back to it’s regular pace. Aang creeps towards them, and Fei clambers onto the bridge, hoping, praying that Aang won’t take Zuko as Zhao’s legs are sucked into the blue light.

“Take my hand!” Zuko reaches for Zhao. The older man considers it, looking up at their faces. He takes his hand back, sneering at the two teenagers he couldn’t manage to kill. The blue light dissipates. He’s gone. 

“What just happened?” Zuko asks, and Fei shrugs, her hand still on his shoulder. 

_ “I’m not sure.”  _ The wind whispers. He looks at her, gold eyes full of so much life it takes her breath away. Fei gives him a small smile.  _ “I thought you were dead.”  _

__ “I did too. I heard Zhao… I thought you drowned.” Fei wraps her arms around his chest, feeling the firey warmth of  _ him.  _ He does the same, the pressure of his arms a welcome reminder that he’s still  _ alive.  _

When they pull away, his front is wet with tears. 

“ _ Sorry.”  _ She waves a breeze towards him, drying the damp spot. Zuko takes her free hand in his, lacing his fingers through hers. 

“Let’s go meet Uncle.” 

oOo

Iroh procured a small raft for them. When they’re aboard it, he says. 

“I’m surprised, Prince Zuko, that you are not at this moment trying to capture the Avatar.” 

“I’m tired.” Zuko’s voice is heavy.

“Then you should rest. A man needs his rest.” Zuko curled around himself, looking alone but not nearly as lonely as he did all those nights ago. 

“Fei, come here.” Iroh says. She looks up at him, seeing the trunk he’s next to.

_ “Are those my things?”  _ She signs, too tired to bend. 

“Yes. It seems my nephew wants you to keep a full wardrobe.” Fei unlatches the lid, swinging it open to begin sorting through the contents. 

All but one of her red serving dresses go over the side. Her lavender-crocus plant, still healthy and protected by her air bubble, stays put. Fei takes The Veiled Lady’s ribbon out of her hair, gesturing for Iroh to turn around. When he does, she strips the ragged red dress off, folding it neatly and keeping it at the bottom of the trunk. 

The white dress fits perfectly, settling over her shoulders like it was always meant to be there. She ties the red ribbon around her waist and shuts the case, tapping Iroh on the shoulder. 

“You should get some sleep, my girl.” He says softly. Fei smiles at him, but shakes her head. 

_ “You go to sleep. I’m not sure I can.”  _ Iroh gives her a thankful smile, then closes his eyes like Zuko. 

_ Zuko. _

__ Fei still can’t quite believe he’s here. 

But he’s in front of her, and if she concentrates she can feel him breathing. 

_ Alive.  _

__ She watches him, watches his chest rise and fall, and smiles. A real smile that shows of her scar, but it drops quickly as she realizes something. 

_ Oh, Spirits,  _ She thinks as her mind connects everything. 

The seasickness she can’t escape, even on land. The fear she felt when she thought he was dead. The way she’d rather have died with him in a blizzard than go with Aang. 

Fei looks down at her Prince, heart beating out of her chest. She cries.

oOo

__ Now, little one, the sun is rising. You had better run along home before your mother asks where you are. Maybe you’ll come back and hear the rest of this story, but not today. 

Sleep well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10/30/20  
> edit: Book 2 is up! Check my profile for it :)


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